After The Train Station Incident
by Giscarme
Summary: After the Outwood Train Incident. Before the investigation by Inspector Mason. Margaret is forced to leave for London. People talk and a marriage of convenience would have to take place.
1. Chapter 1

_**After the Outwood Train Station Scandal**_

Margaret Hale is forced to marry John Thornton. I wrote this story. I hope you will like it. English is not my motherlanguage, I hope you will forgive my clumsiness at some points.

My story begins just after the Outwood Train Station Incident. It begins also before Mr. Thornton lied and covered up for Margaret. Mister Hale is sending back Margaret to London because of the expending rumor _(Miss Hale and a man, late at night, embracing)_.  
Miss Hale and Mr. Thornton are forced to marry but they never admit their feelings to each other, putting them in extreme various situations. I know it is a bit cheesy, a marriage of convenience again but I hope you will like it nevertheless. I welcome all reviews. I wanted to write because I read all the NorthandSouth fanfictions several times (even those non finished *cry*) and I wanted a new story.

RATED M

* * *

It was dark. A cold night of winter. They were in bed, almost asleep.

'John...' She whispered.

He closed his eyes, turned to her and put his fingers in her hair. Soft and curly, a sweet scent of soap added to the delight. His Margaret was like this, alluring body and loving wife.

'I am here dear.' He whispered back.

He did not want to open his eyes. Only to feel her. Passing his hand on his wife as a beloving husband, slowly, he found her neck and even slowlier, went back to the beginning of her breast. He stopped there and still eyes closed, he took the hem of the shirt and put it up on her waist, exposing her below body to him. He settled himself between her legs without touching her. His right hand went back to her neck and his left one to her breast. He opened softly the nightgown. He dared not to enter all at once. His hand brushed very lightly her breast and she squeezed of pleasure. Then, at her own surprise she felt something toward the fabric. He bit her nipple very slowly but hardly. Then, he did exactly the same with her other nipple. His hands were playing with the opening of her nightgown and the fullness of her now revealed breast.

And then, he took them in both hands and he massaged them. They were round, very round and pointing to him. He opened wider the nightgown and put his lips on her. Finally, he could not resist any longer, he took off her gown and there, she was naked. After kissing this full breast, he put a kiss on her stomach and kissed her between her legs very slowly.

She was so tasteful.

And ready for him.

'Do you want me Margaret ?' He said while putting his fingers in her.

She did not answer, lost in her own pleasure. So he entered her, his eyes still closed as he felt her so strongly. He moved harder and harder, he made love to her as an husband whose passion knows only his wife.

He cried out.

'John' He heard. 'I love you'.

He smiled and opened his eyes, only to discover that his wife was not Margaret but Anne Latimer, now Thornton. Only to discover that he is not making love to the woman he truly wants.

John Thornton woke up from this dream. A dream where he married a woman he did not love.

He felt lost. If only she had loved him, he thought.

* * *

Margaret Hale has always been a respectable young lady. She never did anything which would jeopardize her integrity. She has been raised in the londonian society and knows its codes perfectly. But, deep down, what she truly desires is the freedom to be, to behave, to go and to not go. Milton became little per little this place where she found a freedom she never thought she would have despite in Helstone.

Milton became also a place of sadness. Her mother will be bury here forever. This place of white sorrow did put scars in her heart. Nevertheless, this raw city became now her home.

When Frederick left, late in night, and Mr. Thornthon saw them at the train station, she held back her tears. Proud as she should be. She did not held back her tears for Mr. Thornton, she did if for her brother.

On the same week, she lost her mother and she was sending away her brother threatened by death in England. Her family were shattered, so was she. She did not see on the instant how wrong she appeared to the eyes of anyone who was watching. In her heart, only her brother and his safety mattered.  
Few days later, she understood her mistake when people in the streets began to speak lowly as she passes in front of them. Slowly, she realized the wrongness of the situation.  
It became clear when an police officer came, several times, to question..no...to interrogate her. And, how unable to lie she is, she covered the secret of her brother with a pathethic false statement, and as she did, she saw instantly that the officer were not so keen to be dumb.

'I'll come back to you my lady.' He said. 'For now, the investigation just began. Thank you for your time. If you, ever, remember something and wish to change your judicial statement, please come to me. At any time.'

And, he left.

When thinking to Mr. Thornton, a punch in her stomach made her gasp. Her, with another man, at night, embracing dearly, on a train station.

« _Oh lord..._ » she sighed. But it was too late. This secret did not belong to her. The life of her brother had more value than her reputation. She began to cry. This society had nothing of kindness and those people could go to church every sunday and pray the rest of the week, they have no charity in their heart neither tolerance. She caught her pillow and buried her face in it, leaving it wet. She felt asleep with an aching stomach.

The next morning, she awoke early and went to pray. It was the only power she had. To pray for her brother to arrive safely in Spain and for people to leave her alone. Her love for her family and her brother would save her in front of God, she prayed, fo He knew what was real and her heart pure. It did not matter what they thought. Nothing were important now. What was important were her father, her brother's life, Edith and Sholto. Nothing else.

And so, she decided to go on with her life. Hoping that it would fade away.

But, when her father came to her one week after Frederik left, what he said broke her heart.

'My dear Margaret,' He said. 'I fear we must consider to send you back in London. With your dear aunt and Edith'

Margaret could not believe her ears.  
'But, papa...' She trembled.  
'No, he said softly, Margaret, my decision is made. You must leave, if not this instant, tomorrow. Margaret,' He continued. 'I heard what people think of you. I heard the rumors. All is because of me. Because you wrote to Frederik and I let you walk him this night to the train station. If I had been more severe...'

'Papa, this is not your fault,' She said as she stood in front of the window, forcing him to face her.

'I should not have let you this much freedom. You are just a young lady.' He spoke for himself more than for her and without consideration for the heart and the effort of his daugther to control her anger.  
Margaret Hale was indeed angry, deeply. To not be free to walk her brother, to not be understood by her own father who appeared at this instant as a weak man in front of her eyes. She, as usual, did not let anything slide away. She controled herself with absolute grace and pride.

'I am not ashamed. Frederik came because I asked him. And I did so for Mama. Papa, you know it too well. I am not ashamed for loving my family. Father, if you think, the best is for me to go back in London, therefore...' She surppressed a cry. '... I will.'

'I do think so Margaret. People begin to talk too much. I fear, you will never be able to marry anyone in Milton nor this region of the country'

'Then I shall be happy.' She murmured.

'Margaret !' Mister Hale yelled, chocked by the audacity of his own daughter. 'See, it is because of this kind of behaviour I have to send you back in London. You will leave tomorrow afternoon. You aunt will welcome you for dinner.'

'My aunt knows I have to arrive tomorrow ?' She asked raising a brow.

'Yes, I wrote to her this week, explaining this dreadful situation. She advised me to send you back to where you belong, in London.'

'I belong with you Father.' She pleaded. 'Where will you go ? I do not wish to be separate from you'

'My lovely Margaret,' He said taking her hand in his own. 'You have the kindest heart of all. I know it. And I do not wish to be part from you neither. But I feel that as a father I failed you by giving you too much freedom and by taking you here, in Milton. And for me, I will go to Oxford, it will do me some good. My friend, you remember, Mister Bell, is waiting for me.'

'Father,' Margaret cried. 'You never, once in my life, failed me. You are the kindest father. Now that Mama is gone, I never thought you would not want to be with me.'

'As I said my dear Margaret, I fear I failed you and I wish to amend it. I am sending you back to save your reputation and to allow you to be with your kind. And one day, to be able to marry.'

'Papa, I am happy here.' She repeated.'

'My decision is made, my dear. I will not change my mind about it. Staying here is now too dangerous for your future.'

Mister Hale went out of the house once the discussion was over. Margaret could not believe what happened. Saving her by sending her in London, how wrong this situation was. Tears began to dropped on her skirt.

She stood up fiercely. If today was her last day, she would make the most of it.

'Dixon' She said. 'I am going to see my friends in Princeton. Do not wait for me. We would pack together tonight.'

'Miss Margaret' Dixon stood between Margaret and the front door, crossing her arms on her chest. 'It is not wise to go there alone now that people talk.'

Margaret put her bonnet on her head. She knew Dixon was right but she had to say goodbye to her friends. She took with her a basket. Her very last basket. This thought broke her heart. She put a kiss on Dixon's cheek and went outside. She knew Dixon could not resist her after her heartful desmontration of affection.

As she headed to Princeton, she stopped at the dressmaker' shop. She wanted to get a little something for Mary and the children. When she entered, the ladies looked at her and stopped talking. Margaret pretended to not notice anything. She thought, maybe her father was right. This rumor would go too far because no one, especially those ladies, had to do anything else than speaking on her back.

When she went out of the shop, she saw on the other side of the street Miss Latimer walking with her father and having her arm in Mister Thornton's arm. Margaret lowered her face and pretended, once again today, to have not seen the scene.

'Miss Hale' She heard.

Margaret raised her head and saw Miss Thornton calling for her, too eager of this rumor. She wondered where Miss Thornton were coming from but did not look surprised. She approached the group of people, saluting each one, not watching fully Mister Thornton.

'Miss Hale' said Miss Thornton 'I came to walk past your father a moment ago. He told me terrible news. You are due to leave Milton tomorrow and go back to London, isn't it correct ?'

Miss Latimer appeared shoked and ceased more tightly the arm of Mister Thornton. Margaret's heart shivered./

'Yes, it is true' Margaret answered calmly. 'Now that Mama passed away, my father wish to go back to Oxford to rest and my aunt wish for me to go back to live with her in London.'

Margaret knew this was not the absolute truth because how could she say to them that she was send away because someone doubted her integrity. How could she say that in front of Mr. Thornton ? What she said was only partly truth. Her aunt and Edith wanted her back to London for months.

'Oh London' Miss Thornton exclaimed 'How lucky you are. You must know it ! Mama would never let me leave Milton. Never. She is too proud of this dusty place. I asked her to go there to see the exposition but no, she does not have any curiosity for the world outside the mill. How lucky Miss Hale, I envy you so much.'

'Perhaps' Margaret said 'If you were accompanied by Mister Thornton, your mother would be more keen to let you travel to London for few days. I am sure my aunt would be pleased to welcome you in her home. The universal exhibition is a good reason to go I believe. And Mister Thronton could present the cotton industry and the machinery better than anyone. Also my cousin Edith would be pleased to share her love for piano with you Miss Thornton.'

'Oh ! Miss Hale ! What a wonderful thought ! But John is so grumpy, he would never leave the mill for few days.'

'Indeed' Mister Thornton spoke for the first time since the encounter. He never truly looked to Margaret. 'I have too much work to leave the mill for so long. And, for your aunt, I am not sure she would appreciate to have a tradesman around her table.'

Margaret flinched. He was directly referring to her own words when she declined him few weeks ago.

'Oh Mister Thornton' Miss Latimer interceded with a smile. 'I would appreciate so much to go to London with you and Miss Thornton. Moreover, a tradesman must go to the exposition to explain to the londonians how the industry of cotton is getting bigger each day. I am sure every table in London would be glad to gave you.'

Margaret could not believe her ears. Miss Latimer was using her to shine in front of Mister Thornton.

Contrary to what Miss Hale said a moment ago, Mister Thornton seemed to have liked the words of Miss Latimer cause he nodded with his hat.

Margaret excused herself. This situation was too much to handle and she had to go to Princeton before coming home to pack.'

Where are you going alone ?' Mister Latimer asked. Margaret shivered. When will the inquisition stop ?

'To Princeton' Margaret answered unable to lie more this day.

'Alone ? ' A smile on the face of Miss Latimer appeared. It was not a beautiful smile. It was, Margaret thought, a mean one.

'Yes, but my friends are there. I will be safe I assure you. Thank you for your consideration.'

Mister Latimer looked at her suspiciously.

'You should be careful' She said. 'Considering how people talk.'

Margaret froze. Miss Thornton et Miss Latimer were delighted by the situation. Only Mister Thornton seemed not to care, which saddened Margaret even more.

'I must go' She answered quickly before quitting them.

Finally, she thought, leaving Milton for London was maybe not a bad idea at all.


	2. Chapter 2

I hope you liked the first chapter. I realized that my characters especially the two mains ones are quite dark and maybe a bit angrier than in some others fanfics. I hope you'll like it.

I realised also that in my story Bessy did not die yet...I thought it was too much for Margaret.

* * *

**_Chapter 2 _**

'Oh Bessy'. Margaret took the hand of her friend and held it on her heart. 'Do not cry. We will see each other again'

Bessy looked at Margaret and said nothing. She knew they won't and her heavy glance meant it.

Margaret understood it. 'Bessy, I promise' she whispered.

'I never thought' Bessy sobbed strongly 'that one day, I would have a friend such as you. Me, a poor girl.'

The door opened and Nicholas Higgins entered. 'So it's true' he said 'you're leaving'.

Margaret nodded. She hugged Bessy and stood up. 'It is late. I should leave.'

'Have a safe trip Miss Margaret' He said.

'I will miss you too Nicholas.' They smiled to each other and shook hands.

'Bessy. I will come tomorrow morning before my departure.' She kissed her front and took her leave.

Margaret walked fast, not because it was dark neither because the winter was cold but because people were watching her. No, they were judging her. She thought about this whole situation. She tried not to cry again. Since Fred left, Margaret tried with all her strength to not let herself fall apart even if everything that happened and those people were trying hard to push her on the ground.

Finally, she arrived at Crampton. When Margaret opened the door, it was complete silent.

'Dixon' She called. Margarer heard a noise from the stairs. _As predicted_, she thought, _she must have began without me to pack my belongings_.

'Margaret, is that you ?' Mr. Hale spoke loudly. 'I'm in the study room.'

'Coming Papa.'

Margaret was taking off her coat, gloves and bonnet when she noticed on the buffet a note.

'Papa...' She said entering the room and reading it at the same time. 'There were a note in the entree.'

By instinct, she sat on the couch near the fire place. One curly hair was dancing in front of her and she placed it behind her ear.

'This is from Mrs. Thornton' She explained to her father, her eyes on the letter. 'She offers us to come tomorrow morning to salute us before our departure.'

'My mother would like to say good-bye properly', a dark voice said.

She abruptly stood up.

'Mr. Thornton' Margaret whispered.

Dixon entered with the tea service and left it to Margaret. 'So much things to do', she repeated.

Margaret was glad she had something to occupy her. She served her father and then went to serve Mr. Thornton.

'No crea...' He began but she interrupted him.

'I know' She murmured. 'No cream, no sugar'.

She felt his percing eyes on her hands and particularly on her bracelet. She blushed and went to sit.

'Mr. Thornton' Margaret gathered her courage. He looked at her and for a brief moment, Margaret felt lost. She wondered, if maybe, this face could have been the one of a loving husband. He never really courted her. Many questions would be left without answers now.

'Miss Hale.' He said in echo.

She woke up from her thoughts.

'Mr. Thornton. I must apologize.' She rose and went to the little desk to take a pen and paper. Her back turned to them. 'I promised a friend I would see her tomorrow morning. Would you excuse me to your mother ? I'm going to write a note as well for you to give her.'

Margaret began to write carefully.

'No.' Mr. Hale said.

Margaret dropped what she was doing and slightly turned to look at her father. She felt once again the heavy eyes of Mr. Thornton on her.

'No more Princeton Margaret. You will not have to go there tomorrow.'

Margaret stood still. How could her father continue on this path ? Since Fred left and Mama died, he seemed to have lost all good senses.

Mr. Hale did not move neither said anything else. Margaret wanted to answer back to her father and explain her feelings. But, Mr. Thornton was there. And it was terribly embarrassing. She wished so hardly he would leave the room as a gentleman would. She wished that people would take two minutes to try to be in her shoes. She wanted freedom so much.

But she could not do that. And, her father, that she loved dearly, she had to respect his decision.

She faced the desk, the two men still in her back.

A deep breath and a silent tear fell on the paper.

Without letting them watch her face, Margaret stood still.

'Then, I guess, I shall see you tomorrow morning Mr. Thornton. If you'll excuse me, I have many things to do.'

And, with those words, Margaret left them.

She went to her room and angrily packed everything.

Margaret silently prayed that London would give her the freedom she is asking. But, she knew she was lying to herself.

* * *

'The Hales are here Mama', Fanny yelled in the house.

Mr. Thornton was in the library. He heard noises and a voice he could distinguish amongst a crowd. He shivered. He waited that his mother and Fanny finished to speak to enter the room.

'John.' Mr Hale said with a warm smile. 'I hope you will come to see me in Oxford. I am sure you would like it very much and I could show you around.'

Mr. Thornton nodded. He was trying really hard to not watch the only person in the room that he wanted to take in his arms.

'Farewell Mr. Hale.' He said. 'You will be missed'.

This last sentence was directed to Margaret. She was in the corner of the room. His mother had her eagle eyes on her and she knew what he meant.

'You must leave quickly.' She said. Not because of the train but because her son, with his impassioned spirit, could jump at any moment to forbid Miss Hale to leave. She knew it. She was his mother. She made him.

Margaret approached him slowly and he stopped breathing, standing still as a statue. She took from her purse a book and handed to him.

'This is mine. I hope we will remain friends. I wish you well Mr. Thornton.' Her voice trembled slightly. She did not know why. She was suddenly so cold.

Last night, she had been thinking, Mr. Thornton had nothing to do with her anger neither the rumor. She knew that even if he saw her and Fred, he would never spread a rumor. Also, she knew that even if, he must have the most terrible opinion of her, he would remain silent. Therefore, she decided to give him one of her books that she thought he would like. She thought, maybe, he would understand her gesture. She did not want anymore difficult relationships with anyone. She needed friends.

He took the book and nodded. He was fully unable to speak or otherwise, he would have cried. More than cry, he would have done anything to keep her close to him even if he had to propose again and again.

Finally, they left for good. And, he felt abandonned.

'Are you going to work ?' Her mother asked. Mr. Thornton did not answer and left the home. He needed to be alone.

* * *

Mr. Hall, his daugther and Dixon arrived on the platform. Margaret began to snob but controled herself with as much strength as she could.

'Miss Hall' a desperate and dark voice rose in the crowd.

Margaret looked up and searched where it was coming from.

'Miss Hall' she heard the voice called again.

Coming out of the crowd, Nicholas Higgins and his daughter appeared.

Bessy tried as much as she could to run and almost fell in the arms of Margaret.

Instantly, having Bessy embracing her made Margaret cry. The strength she had a moment ealier was gone in the arms of a loving friend.

'I knew something had happened if you could not come this morning to see me.' Bessy conforted her. 'I will miss you so much Margaret.'

'Bessy, I...'

'Thank you Margaret' Bessy interrupted. 'For being my friend.'

Mr. Hale took the arm of her daughter, gently. It was time. The train would leave in a few minutes.

Margaret let her father lead her in the right wagon.

And that is how, Miss Margaret Hale left Milton. A white hell full of friends.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3 : Interlude - The thoughts of Mr. Thornton**_

John Thornton was protecting himself. He was in a dark place.

Margaret Hale had been a source of wonder the moment she walked into his life. She was smart, sensitive, graceful, proud and strong headed. She was also incredibly beautiful. The diner party few months ago was a revelation. He wanted her. He loved her. She had know idea how seductive she was to him, and to many other men. She had no idea how others were watching her. And, he felt, even if he had no rights to do so, a sort of ownership.

Since that night, he lived with hopes and then the riot came, finally he proposed. And she refused him. More than that, she insulted him.

Since that day, he felt less than nothing. His confidence as a man shattered. To not be respected as a respectable man neither his feelings was a stab in his heart.

But nevertheless, after all that, he had hopes the situation would change and with time, maybe, she would be able to see him, truly, as a man and potential husband.

And he saw her. That dreadful night. On the train station with another man, embracing tenderly. Everything became black. Jealousy. Betrayal. The disappointment was such than it physically hurts. His heart and stomach were constatly aching.

_Is it really love_, he thought, _or is it torture ?_

When Mr. Hale told him that he was sending back Margaret to London, he thought he would fall apart mentally and physically. His hand gripped the nearest chair.

'Why' he asked.

'She suffered too much in this city'. He answered 'I gave her too much freedom too. She needs to go back with her kin. Her aunt asked me for months to send her back in London, I should have listened. At that time, It was too just to painful to me to let Margaret go, without me. But, now I have no choice.'

'When ?' He could not articulate more words. The shock of the news was too big to take. He could live, even in agony, with that woman in the same town, but not seeing her...

'In two days, I bought the tickets and will speak soon to her'

John gasped. In two days. And she was not even aware of it. Even if, he considered Mr. Hale as a dear friend. For once, he was a weak man. Not able to take the right actions for his daughter.

The next day, when John came to the Crampton to deliver the note of his mother, he sat with Mr. Hale. Miss Hale entered the room without noticing him. She sat while reading the note. He found her exquisite and tired. Her cheeks were red. When she finally noticed him, she did not dare to watch him into his eyes. She poured a cup of tea. No cream, no sugar. She knows his taste, that hurt him even more.

When Mr. Hale forbad her to go back see her friends the next morning. He watched her back facing them. He saw her red eyes and even a tear, that she tried terribly to hide with her proud figure. He could not bear it and lowered his head to give her some privacy.

For the second time this week, he wanted to shake his friend, Mr Hale. He thoughtif it was him, he would have protected her and loved her properly.

Now, she was leaving him.

His heart aches. Maybe, she was returning to her lover. And, maybe, it was for the best. Mr. Thornton fell deeper in the dark place where he already was. Angrier thoughts came to him. He felt like he needed to find himself back as man. He needed to collect the pieces of himself that she put all around Milton.

_If only she had loved him_, he thought with wet eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hello, thank you to everyone for the reviews and the kind words. I have not the skill of some writers for some fanfictions (which for I impatiently wait for the next chapter hehehe). I hope you'll like mine anyway. I write to divert only. **_

_**I wish you a warm and kind day.**_

_**Giscarme**_

_**In the last chapter : Margaret left Milton for good. She is in the train for London. Mr. Thornton is broken as a man, because she rejected him and his feelings, and by her depart, because he can not stand to not see her. **_

_**Chapter 4**_

'Such dark clouds' Dixon murmured looking out of the window when they arrived in London. 'Miss Margaret, be careful, it's gonna rain soon. Let's go home quickly.'

Margaret Hale did not mind the rain. On the contrary, when it rains, tears are not seen.

London's air was so different. More pure, less raw. Faker than Milton's.

When they arrived at Aunt Shaw's house, a dance of butlers began, taking bags and coats from them, offering drinks and refreshments to their new guests. Dixon transformed herself, she even smiled. Even, Mr. Hale seemed lighter. Margaret watched them and felt betrayed. How could they behave as if nothing important happened ? They left Milton for good, leaving there a home they created, friends they made and Mama, in the cold area of the North.

Margaret had let Aunt Shaw and Edith hugged her. Captain Lennox showed her the way to the living room.

'What is wrong ?' Aunt Shaw asked to Mr. Hale.

'I fear my girl is sad.' He answered.

'The poor has been like a statue since we left Milton' Dixon whispered to Edith. 'I am glad we're back here. Milton has been awful to this family.'

Edith sighed and approved.

Margaret seemed to wake up only when Sholto came to greet her. The boy climbed into his aunt's arms and fell asleep almost instantly.

'We are so relieved to finally have you with us.' Mrs. Shaw said. 'When are you leaving for Oxford ?'

'This afternoon.' Mr. Hale answered.

Margaret swifted her head with so much surprise that Sholto almost fell on the floor.

'F...father ?' She murmured. 'This afternoon ?'

'Yes, my dear. Mr. Bell is waiting for me. We have a meeting tomorrow with our old colleagues.'

'I could have go with you, maybe...' Margaret tried desperatly.

'No need, dear. You will be so much better with your cousin and aunt.'

Margaret faked a smile.

'Excuse-me.' She said. 'I am going to refresh in my bedroom and then, I will join you to eat. The trip has been long.'

Margaret went up to her usual room. Nothing changed and curiously, a sense of home came to her. The tears began to fall when she thought about her father, leaving her here.

When she came down, nothing on her face let them think she cried with such a heavy heart.

'Margaret, we are going to have so much fun here. We must immediately put you back into the London Society. We are going to eat with Mrs and Mr. Artwick tomorrow night, they live across the street. It is a splendid house, you will see. 'Aunt Shaw had the most prosperous projets for Margaret. Those projects had one simple goal, to find the most suitable husband of all for her niece and settle her in London for good.

'My aunt, I have no wish to go back to the London Society.' She quietly said.

'Do not say such horrors, dear. You are still shocked by manners in the North. I understand it so very much. Do not trouble yourself. I will make you forget it all.'

Forget ? Margaret did not want to forget. She wanted to be there, in Milton. She never thought that this place would have been marked in her like that. She thought of Mr. Thornton and the way he used to talk of Milton, now she was understanding him. She was craving Milton as she craved Helstone.

'Tomorrow' Edith said with a large smile. 'Henry will come to eat with us. Isn't wonderful Margaret ?'

'Yes, it is. Very much.' Margaret answered for the pleasure of her cousin. At least, Henry was similar to her. He needed conversations with some depth.

At the end of the meal, Mr. Hale left for Oxford. Margaret could not say a word. It was too painful.

Edith saw the sadness of her cousin and took her in her arms. Aunt Shaw took them to the small salon. A butler came to pour tea and serve biscuits.

'Please lit the fire.' Edit asked softly. 'Margaret, are you not cold ? You are shivering.'

Aunt Shaw arrived with a blanket that she put on the shoulders of Margaret and the three women sat together around the fire place.

'Tell us Margaret.' Aunt Shaw said with a hand on the lap of her niece.

Margaret began to cry.

'I loved Milton.' She answered to the surprise of two women. 'I made friends and a life there. And, Mama is there. I feel awful. I left my mom, buried in a place she hated, with no one caring for her nor to bring her flowers.'

Aunt Shaw and Edith, even if they were very different of Margaret, have loved Mrs. Hale dearly. Aunt Shaw raised Margaret and Edith together. It was blood and family.

'I do not want the London Society...' Margaret sobbed.

Aunt Shaw breathed heavely, pondering how to answer.

'You always had a spirit of a crazy wild horse.' Finally, Aunt Shaw smiled. 'I know you do not want to. But you have no choice dear Margaret. The rumor in Milton is serious. If you want freedom so much, you must learn to gain freedom the way society gives it to you. Unfortunately, in the time we are living, for women, freedom comes from money, status, and recognition from others. You need to have the London Society as an ally if you want to be free. Do you understand what I am trying to say ? A woman needs protection. This protection and safety are taken and given by Society when money is not enough.'

Margaret listened to her aunt carefully. She always admired how she could be superficial at times and deeply thoughtful at others.

'I am also a woman Margaret. I found my own way to be free. It is not the perfect one but it was the only one I found. Status and money gave me the freedom to say no to others. And as a woman, this is a huge power. I had my daughter who gave me a grandchild. My son-in-law is a good man from a wealthy family. I could not wish for more. I love you Margaret, I want the best for you. Right now, the best is to put those rumors in the North and you in the London Society with maybe, new and interesting friends. London can also become, again, your home.'

Margaret was astonished. What her aunt said was true and it was painful.

The tree woman remained together all afternoon in front of the fire place while heavy rains were pouring on London.

A week has passed. Margaret agreed to everything her aunt asked. She met several families. She found some people interesting. And, they even went to the opera one night. For the whole time, Margaret thought of Mr. Thornton, how she wished he would have seen her world and understand her better. Maybe, all the fights they had would have been eluded.

'I would like to go to the universal exhibition.' Edith said. 'Tomorrow, Margaret ?'

Magaret nodded with a huge smile. 'I would like it very much Edith, thank you.'

Edith kissed the forehead of Margaret. Since the moment Margaret came back in London, she asked every single day when they will visit the universal exhibition. Aunt Shaw has been very difficult on that subject but to Edith, Aunt Shaw never refused anything.

And so, the next morning, they went to the exhibition accompagnied with Captain Lennox and Henry.

Margaret was enchanted by everything she laid eyes on. Colors, objets, architecture and even the people presenting them, all of that was new and extraordinary. She was amazed by plants and clothing materials. They found themselves in the room about industry and mechanics, her eyes went directly to the machines she knew from Malborough Mills. She remembered for an instant the first time she met Mr. Thornton. It was violent and shoking for at that time. Now, she was understanding him better.

A deep voice that she knew too well rose and echoed inside her.

'You are all here to see this fine machinery. Technologically, we are the envy of the world. If there was a mecahnism to be able to all live together. To take fully the benefits of the cotton industry. For future generations. We can bring back wonders from Mozambique but we, men, will always behave as we always have.'

Magaret was captivated by this speech and his presence. She listened and agreed completely with what Mr. Thornton was saying. She smiled to herself. How this man could have so many different faces was a wonder to her. She was wathing the whole group of men and each one of them, of any age, was as captivated by his presence as her. She felt strangely proud.

'Do you think we can put an end to strikes ?' A gentleman asked.

Mr. Thornton lowered his head to quickly think about the question. And with a sad face, he answered :

'Not in my lifetime. But with time and patience, we can arrive to calm the bitterness.'

And then, he saw her. His eyes became darker and he breathed heavely.

'Miss Hale, here, knows the depths we men fell into.'

Margaret did not respond. She felt embarassed. Her heart aches. Why was he using such irony to speak in her place and in this way ?

'How masters only want the hands to work and stand their grounds.'

She could not take it anymore. Some gentlemen were watching her but she did not care.

'I certainly do not think that.' She said sharply. 'If Mr. Thornton could tell you, if he've known me at all.'

Then she turned back. It was too much for her to handle. She needed to leave this area of the exhibition to be able to breath.

Mr. Thornton with two grand steps came near her.

'I presumed to know you once before.'

Margaret could not looked at him. She knew his eyes were on her, percing every inch of her skin.

'I have been mistaken.' He said with sadness and anger.

This sentence hurt her more than she could have told. He was so close to her and yet, so far. The rest of the exhibition for a moment did not exist. Only him, close to her.

'Miss Hale' a woman said.

It was Mrs. Fanny Thornton walking toward her with Miss Anne Latimer. 'How delightul'

Mr. Thornton took a step back and Margaret focused on the two ladies.

'You've managed to come to London at last.'

'Mother agreed only because John was coming. And Miss Latimer, of course.'

She looked at Margaret and quickly added : 'Which she approves of. Greatly.'

Margaret watched Miss Latimer smiled and looked at Mr. Thornton. It was hurtful. Then, she saw Henry coming to her.

'Henry' She said with relief to have an ally in this crowd.

Mr. Thornton trembled when he heard her pronounce the name of another man.

'Do you know Mr. Thornton ?'

Mr. Thornton was exasperated and looked at Henry Lennox with a side eye.

'Mr. Thornton, all the way from Milton.'

Mr. Thornton froze and gave a quick nod.

'My brother is interested in dabbling in cotton.'

Margaret could not believe what Henry was saying. It was worse to have him here, she thought. She felt Mr. Thornton edgy and, she did not know how, but the fire in him, she could feel it. 'I am not the one to speak to.' His calm and stern voice said 'I'm not sure to know how to dabble.'

Henry laughed and Margaret did know where to look.

'You can admire the machinery but I have to live with it. I have to go back to Milton.'

'Give the blessing to Mr. Hale. He went back to Milton this week to pack the rest of the belongings.' Henry added. Mr. Thornton stopped. 'Tell him how the London air suits Miss Hale. Don't you think Thornton ?'

Mr. Thornton fire became sadness. He lowered his head and left with a deep 'Good Bye'.

'Tell Papa I miss him. Please.' Margaret added quickly.

He did not respond but she knew he would do it. He was a gentleman.

The afternoon, Aunt Shaw felt nauseous and they came home earlier than planned. The house was very quiet in the afternoons. The two ladies and Sholto were taking a nap. Captain Lennox was at his club while Henry Lennox was working.

Margaret had a peaceful time to read by herself when the doorbell rang.

'A police officer my lady.' A butler informed her.

The book left the hands of Margaret and fell on the ground. A freezing wind came inside the library where Margaret was. The butler was silently watching her.

'Aunt Shaw is resting.' She said to contain her feelings. 'Tell him to come back when she will be more disposed.'

The butler did not move, embarrassed.

'Madame, this is you he want to see.'

It felt as a joke. But instead of laughing, Margaret was scared. She fully and completely forgot about Inspector Mason. Could it be it ?

'Let him enter.'

The police officer who came in was unknown from Margaret. She could not know them all, she thought with irony. She knew one already and it was far enough.

'I am Inspector Eikoop, nice to meet you my lady.'

He presented her his badge.

'I am here in the name of the police of Milton. They are investigating a case of murder. They wanted to ask you few questions but when they look after you, they have been informed that you've moved back in London. Here I am on their behalf.'

Margaret presented a chair and asked to the butler to bring few refreshments.

She sat close of the fire but face straight to the officer.

'I already said everything to Inspector Mason, from Milton Police. Did he not tell you that ?'

The police officer looked down his notes.

'I am sorry my lady but it seems that they would like to ask a few questions again.'

Margaret was indeed scared. If she did not get things right, it will fall out of place and finally, hurt Fred. Aunt Shaw knew everything about Fred and this situation. _Should I wake her up ?_ Magaret thought.

'Please Officer, feel free to do your job properly.' She sounded a bit more bitter that she wanted to but the police officer pretended to have not noticed.

'Where were you on the night where Mr. Leonards died ?'

'If you are asking if I was at the train station, the answer is no. I already said it.'

The police officer wrote something in his notebook and continued.

'Why are you here in London ?'

Margaret panicked internly. If she answers the truth, because her father wanted to, because a silly rumor destroyed her reputation in Milton, then the police officer would ask about Fred.

'I lost my mother' she said with a remarkable calmness. 'I have no mother figure neither family anymore in Milton. My father went to Oxford. My aunt and cousin wanted me to come back live with them. I do not see the fuss about this.'

Suddenly, the door opened and Aunt Shaw appeared quite disheveled with red cheeks.

'What is going on ?' She asked stricly.

'My lady' The police officer saluted.'I am here on behalf of the Milton Police. A murder case is being investagated and Miss Hale was apparently seen by some folks where it happened.'

'Nonsense.' She spat. 'Did my niece not told you that already?'

'Indeed, Madame, she did...'

'So what is the point to continue to question her?' She did not let him finish.

'Miss Hale,' the police officer continued. 'I need to tell you that the rumor says that you were with a man at night.'

'How dreadful' Aunt Shaw almost yelled. 'Do not say such things in this house or neither outside. I will let know your superior about those very serious allegations. Now it is time for you leave us.'

The police officer paid his respects.

'Thank you officer for doing your job.' Margaret said with politeness.

He nodded.

Once the door closed. Aunt Shaw called Edith and locked them all three, without any butler, which made things more suspecious, inside the library.

'This is a catastrophe, Margaret.' She said. 'We must absolutely not speak of that to anyone anywhere. This never happened. Do you both understand me ?' Firmly, Aunt Shaw took the arms of the girls. 'If ever, one of you talk about that, consequences would be terrible.'

Edith and Margaret nodded, tears in the eyes.

'Tonight' Aund Shaw added. ' We have a diner at Mrs. Joyrith's house. This is one of the most honorable family in London. She is having a small gathering. We will go, eat and smile. And all that will be put aside.'

Margaret sighed silently. She hated to fake and be fake. She hated to force herself for anything. Did freedom have such a price ? She wondered.

'Milton Train about to depart.'

John Thornton needed to leave urgently. The mill needed him and he needed to be away.

This morning, the sight of Margaret has been a far too intense moment. She was marvelous and all he could think about was the man embracing her.

He was about to leave when someone called out his name.

'Mr. Thornton ?'

A police officer. He nodded. 'Who is asking ?'

The man introduced himself and exposed the situation.

'You have been named Magistrate in that case.' He continued.

'Well, I head to Milton so I will deal with this case there.'

The police officer seemed embarassed. 'The thing is, Inspector Mason, from Milton Police asked us to question a certain Miss Hale.'

His curiosity was caught. He knew Inspector Mason, he was a serious fellow. His cases always properly cared of.

'Milton Train about to depart.'

The police officer looked at the clock. The train was about the leave.

'Mr. Thornton, my superior is Mr. Joyrith. He asked me to tell you that we would gladly offer his home and a warm bed if you could remain in London one more day to help us with that case. It seems that you know the Hales, so we've heard.'

Mr. Joyrith was the head of the Police Department in London. His family was a big deal. Only him had chosen, amongst member of the family, a rather common job instead of being a lawyer, a magistrate, or any kind of noble job. He was surprised to hear that a man like him would take interest in a small case like that.

Mr. Thornton thought about it and then nodded.

'Tell me a bit more.' He said when the two men were in the carriage.

'I went to see Miss Hale today.' He began. 'But she repeated the same story than she did at Inspector Mason.'

'Mmh...'

Mr. Thornton could not see how it was a problem.

'She strongly affirms that she never has been at the train station that night. My issue is that many witnesses saw her. And the drescription...'

'She denies it.' Mr. Thornton said bluntly.

'Indeed'

He was shocked. Therefore, it was even worse than he must have thought. Tears began to arise and his stomach was aching. The feeling of betrayal was growing deeper and bigger. But, he has no right to feel betrayed. He was nothing to her.

'What is the description of the lady given by witnesses ?'

'A fair lady. Black hair. Blue or green eyes. Very beautiful.'

It was true.

'Your opinion ?'

The police officer blushed. Mr. Thornton felt jealous seing his reaction.

'I believe it matches to Miss Hale pretty accurately.' The police officer confessed.

'But she denies it.' Mr. Thornton replied.

'But she denies it indeed.'

'It could be any kind of pretty woman.' Mr. Thornton said objectively. 'Let me handle it. I will look at it and come back to you.'

The police officer thanked him and led him into the house of Mr. Joyrith. A maid welcomed him and apparently, they have been aware of his arrival. How efficient, he thought.

The maid showed him his room and informed him that a diner was given tonight by Mrs. Joyrith and he was invited to attend. Mr. Thornton was quite astonished by the situation but agreed. It was already late in the afternoon and the guests would soon arrive. On the other hand, he had no time to waste and thought about the whole situation. Tomorrow morning, he will go to see Miss Hale. For now, he needed to know more about the whole case. Therefore, he decided to go to the Police Center to collect everything he needed.

He arrived there and was welcomed by Inspector Eikoop that was quite surprised to see him here. Mr. Thornton explained to him what he wanted and the inspector gave him a room to look over the files.

'Mr. Thornton.' A man came inside. 'I am Mr. Joyrith.'

Mr. Thornton nodded and presented his hand. Mr. Joyrith looked at it, smiled and shook it vigorously.

'Thank you for your hospitality' Mr. Thornton said. 'But, I need to know why you take interest in a case like this.'

The man laughed.

'The problem is, Mr. Thornton, that the case is aiming a certain lady, unmarried with a man at night. This is Mrs. Shaw's family. Therefore, this is a noble lady we are talking about. If this is not resolved quickly, it could damage the lady for good. And the fact she moved so quickly back to London is quite curious, it will not help her.'

Mr. Thornton agreed. But having the londonian police on the case was even worst for the reputation of Margaret. Also, for maybe the first time, he realised in what kind of world Margaret grew. She was a noble lady, not only in his heart.

'From I see.' Mr. Thornton said. 'It is the death a man already killed by his addictions. How Miss Hale is linked to it ?'

'Apparently, a dispute with another man occurred. He pushed Leonards. People says the man was with the young lady. Therefore, she is a witness. But, I understand that the situation is a bit, hum, undelicate for the lady.'

Mr. Thornton saw red but controled himself.

'Thank you Mr. Joyrith. I will talk to Miss Hale tomorrow.'

'I am heading home for the diner party of my mother. I shall see you there.'

Mr. Thornton nodded and the man left him in the room. Mr. Thornton took his head between his hands. For a second, he needed to really think. What should he do ? The question was simple but not the answer. After a while, he decided that he will answer this question tomorrow, after having seen Miss Hale.

He walked to clear his mind. When he arrived, the bulter informed him that some guests were already here. John Thornton quickly went to wash and change for the evening before joining the rest of the guests.

'Mr. Thornton.' Mr. Joyrith welcomed him. He introduced him to his family. And then guided him to a small group of persons. 'I believe you already know Miss Hale.'

Mr. Thornton looked at him. He was shocked but showed nothing. What game was playing this man at ?

Miss Hale was watching him, he saw her eyes wavered slightly but she quickly controled herself.

'Mr. Thornton is my guest tonight.' Mr. Joyrith said. 'Come here Mr. Thornton, let me introduce you to Mr. Aldrigde, he also runs a business, I think you would be very interested to share opinions.'

Mr. Thornton left the small group to follow the host but could noot keep his eyes away from Margaret.

Her hair, it was a new style on her and it was... pretty. He shook his head. This was not correct.

He decided to focus only on Mr. Aldrigde. Indeed, the man was very interesting and far more experienced than him. They talked about the machinery and the exhibition. During the meal, he has been lucky enough to be put far from Miss Hale and sat next to Mr. Aldrigde. Only at times, when an unknown lady was moving her shoulder he caught glimpses of Margaret. Her dress, solft pink, was a perfect colour on her skin. He imagined that some other part of her body had the same pink color. He pushed this thought away, how could he think of her like that ? He was somehow ashamed of himself but coud not control himself. Her mind already amazed him, now it was her figure that was driving him insane. He saw how some of the young men around the table were looking at her and it was making him furious.

At the end of the meal, the men went to a separate room to smoke and drink when the ladies was led by Mrs. Joyrith to another room.

'Have you seen this Mr. Thornton ?' Margaret heard someone said.

'He is from Milton, I've heard. It's too bad, that place is dreadful.'

'I would not mind to be in any kind of place if the night was shared with a man like that.' The ladies chuckled and Margaret blushed. She never heard any ladies spoke that way. When they saw the look of Margaret, they laughed even more.

'It is because you are not married yet my dear.' One said. 'You will understand.'

'Margaret knows Mr. Thornton quite well.' Edith interrupted. Margaret blushed, if only Edith could not speak sometimes.

'How is he ?' Lady Rose asked. Lady Rose was the same age than Margaret and unmarried.

A weird feeling went through Margaret, she never experienced it before so she could not name it.

'He is...' She hesitantly began. 'well educated.'

The ladies laughed. 'Of course, I guess he is. This is not what I meant.'

'I do not know him that well.' Margaret answered.

The rest of the evening was long and the ladies stopped talking about Mr. Thornton, Margaret was occupied by her own thoughts. She needed to put a name on the feeling who was stuck in her stomach.

After a while and in despite of everything she wanted to admit, she finally concluded that it was possessiveness. Shamefully, she felt a certain possession toward Mr. Thornton. And surprisingly, she never felt it for Henry neither anyone else.

After a while, men and women joined again into a larger room.

Margaret was very careful to stay in her corner. She wanted, at all costs, to avoid Mr. Thornton. She needed to understand her feelings. She rejected him and he felt insulted. He saw her with another man at night. And now, she had weird feelings inside her. What has she done ? She thought.

'Would you do me the honor to dance with me ?' A man asked.

Margaret looked at him quite surprised. She had not expected to dance tonight but to refuse him would be considered very impolite.

Therefore, she accepted one dance under the eyes of Mr. Thornton who turned his back as soon as he saw her in the arms of another man. One dance which seemed for him like an eternity. When the music stopped, he saw Margaret left the room to refresh herself on the balcony. He could not stop himself, he followed her.

'Miss Hale.' He said in darker voice than he expected.

She shivered, surprised.

'Mr. Thornton.' She answered shyly.

She was so beautiful. Her face so clear in that black night. He saw her shivered once again and wanted to put his arms aound her to keep her warm. But that would never happened, he reminded himself.

She suddenly realised they were alone.

'Mr. Thornton, I fear, us alone, is not proper.'

Mr. Thornton looked around them, he realised she was right but he felt hurt.

'Because, you care about property so much.' He said harsly. Shame instantly stroke him. He was not able to control himself. He expected her to walk away as soon as he spoke those words, even slap him, but she stood still and lowered her head. Where was the proud Margaret Hale ? It broke his heart even more.

'I will come to see you tomorrow morning.' He confessed. 'I have important matters to speak with you.'

She looked at him with big eyes.

'I do not understand. Is everything alright ? Is Papa...' She gasped and put her hands on her mouth.

'No, no that is not that.' He said, putting his hand on her arm. 'Your father is fine.'

She was relieved.

'Then, what is it ?' She asked.

'I will come tomorrow morning.' He repeated.

'Alright...' She answered with a small voice, stressed about this secrecy.

They looked at each other for a brief moment. She could not stand the silence.

'I thought you were going back to Milton. What kept you here Mr. Thornton ?' She politely asked.

He looked above the balcony to avoid her eyes but he could feel them trying to read his mind.

'Let's go back in.' He said finally.

Margaret's character began to rise, fire was burning. She needed to know.

'Tell me.' She whispered.

He did not respond. His back to her. It infuriated her even more. From the beginning of their talk, she tried to restrain herself. But it was going too far.

'Alright Mr. Thornton.' She said very coldly leaving the balcony. 'I shall see you tomorrow, you can keep this secrecy for tonight then.'

This sentence was intolerable for Mr. Thornton and his spirit was also on fire. He caught her wrist before she entered back in the house. He quickly lowered himself to speack to her ear.

'This is not me who likes secrets.' He said strongly. 'Neither lies.'

She turned back with furor in her eyes.

'How dare y...'

'Do not pretend to me, Miss Hale. You, at the train station, and your lie to the police. You must know what I must think of you.'

Her wrist still strongly gripped by Mr. Thornton. Tears began to rise in her eyes once again.

Suddenly, the door opened. Aunt Shaw appeared.

'What are you doing ? Both of you ?' She angrily asked with the lowest voice Margaret has ever heard her spoke with. 'People are talking about a man and a woman alone on the balcony. Have you got insane ? Let go the hand of my niece, now .' She commanded icely.

John Thornton did as Aunt Shaw ordered. His senses coming back together. He realised what he has done.

Aunt Shaw took Margaret and they left the room together quickly. He stayed out for a while, he needed to feel the cold wind in his hair. London was too warm for him. London was too fake, and complicated, for him.

When he finally left the balcony, most guests already went home. But, the ones still present looked at him curiously. He went to see Mr. Joyrith to announce he would retire for tonight. He laid down on his bed but did not sleep at all. He made a huge mistake, he knew it.

In the carriage, Margaret was not feeling well. She was shivering again but not because of the cold. She was scared.

'Do you realise what you've done ?' Aunt Shaw asked angrily. 'Being alone with a man while the highest families of the London Society are there. When people began to talk, I laughed, thinking of this man and this woman, so imprudent, that woman ruined for life. I never thought it could be you. How could you be so stupid, Margaret ?'

Aunt Shaw never spoke to her like that. She never used those words and never insulted her. Margaret saw great disappointment in the eyes of her aunt and it broke her heart.

Edith was also looking at her in a way Margaret had never seen her. It was new and it felt terrible.

'Margaret,' She calmly said. 'This is how a rumor turns to be true in the eyes of society.'

And then, this is how the rumor from Milton arrived to London.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hello eveyrone, I hope you're doing ok and that you liked the last chapter. **_

_**Maybe you were surprised with Aunt Shaw and Edith. I wanted them to have more depths than in the tv show. I feel like it is not because a woman appears superficial than she is really. I also wanted to have a nice women moment. **_

_**I feel like my Margaret is having a tough time because of many misunderstandings. But I fear that is maybe what some women faced at that time because of the rules upon them and in the London Society.**_

_**Also, I decided to publish this chapter on week-end, I imagine some of you after work and after a full day, to take a break, have nice hot drink in a blanket maybe in the sofa or the bedroom. To take time for yourself and enjoy a piece of peace.**_

_**I wish you a nice reading**_

_**Have a kind day **_

_**Giscarme**_

* * *

_**Chapter 5**_

John Thornton spent his night thinking.

About him and how he was loosing himself in a way he could not bear.

About the police case and the investigation.

Finally, about Margaret who must feel scarefully alone right now, and he was right on that.

He felt as a stranger to himself for loosing his control and his senses. He needed to find back what always helped him in tough times. To be rational.

First, he needed to think as his duty as a Magistrate. A man was dead. Witnesses claimed that another one pushed him after he attacked him. A beautiful lady was there. What would be the consequences ? For Margaret, shame and exclusion, for the dead man, nothing and the other man... This one, John Thornton refused to think too long about him.

He thought a long time about the whole situation and made up his mind.

Secondly, he needed to leave London. Being here has been worst than anything else.

And to put an end to it, he needed to let go of Margaret Hale. He was in love with her but for his own sanity, he will love from far, secretly, in a peaceful and warm way. And most of all, he would love without putting everything he was proud as a man in jeopardy.

Once, he made his decision on those points, the sun came to salute him. He got up, washed and got dressed.

He left the house and went to the Police Center. Afterwards, he went to post a letter and took the first train of saturday to Milton. Finally, going home.

* * *

Margaret did not sleep neither. She spent the morning alone. Aunt Shaw and Edith took Sholto to visit some friends and Captain Lennox was always at his club.

She sat all morning in the studyroom and tried to write a letter to her father. Just before lunch, a butler came to her.

'The police officer is at the door for you my lady.'

Margaret stoop up and wlecomed him. She was glad no one was at home. Inspector Eikoop did not waste his time.

'The case has been dropped, Miss Hale. The magistrate in the case concluded that there were not enough evidences to continue the investigation. It was clear that the man was killed by his own addictions. I wish you a good day.'

Then, he made his way to the door.

'Excuse-me.' She stopped him.

'My lady ?'

'The magistrate ?' Margaret asked.

'Mr. Thornton. It was a northern case.' He concluded than left.

Margaret was let alone. She was saved. Fred was saved. And she felt as the unhappiest woman in England. To know that Mr. Thornton saw her, was aware of her lies to the police inspector and even, despite all that, took the responsibility to not continue the case and therefore save her reputation, this broke her heart.

What kind of man did she reject ?

She felt miserable and pitiful.

Aunt Shaw did not speak to Margaret for a full week.

On saturday night, they were all invited to the ball of the Larszen's family. A german family installed in London since two generations and which is linked to some royal families in North Europe and the Queen herself. Aunt Shaw was very proud to have amongst her acquaintances the Larszen family.

And so, on saturday afternoon, she was forced to speak to Margaret again.

'Show me your dress Margaret, dear. You must look irreproachable, _and faultless_.'

The young lady did not respond and did as she was told.

'Not this one. I prefer this one.' Edith added once Margaret tried the dress she planned to wear for the evening.

The other dress prefered by Edith and Aunt Shaw was a bit more extravagant but Margaret had no force to fight against them. She complied and arrived at the party wearing exactly what the two ladies wanted, from hair to shoes.

At the table, she was placed next to a gentleman named Sir Lars Vintard, a member of the Larszen family but having the name of the mother. Margaret was glad to sit next to someone new. It felt fresh. They had a splendid moment until another man went to slip few words into the ears of Sir Vintard. Afterwards, he looked at Margaret and seemed puzzled for a brief while.

'Miss Hale, I must apologize.' He finally said with a disappointed look. 'I fear I have been overfriendly. I had no idea you already had an engagement with another gentleman.'

Margaret shook her head. Her big blue eyes under the shock of what was saying Sir Vintard.

'With a certain gentleman from the North.' He added. He saluted her and then continued to talk with the person next to him on the other side.

After the meal, he came to see her again.

'I do agologize again Miss Hale.' He whispered far from the crowd. He looked at her with envy. 'To be honest, I was charmed by you and I would never have behaved that way if I had known your attachment to someone else. Please forgive my manners.'

Sir Vintard did not let her respond and then, Margaret did not seen him for the whole night.

In the carriage, back to Harley Street, she was occupied by her thoughts. All of that was quite weird but the strangest event of all was Aunt Shaw. She was thinking very hard about something.

'Margaret' Aunt Shaw said. 'Tomorrow, I will write to your father. We need to decide upon your future.'

And, once again, since she moved back in London, Margaret did not respond. She was very tired of all that. Was she losing herself too ?

* * *

'John ?' Mrs. Thornton called.

Her son came home late from the mill but the hour never mattered, she always was there. A plate was waiting for him in the study room. He went to her and put a kiss on her forehead.

'The winter is really cold this year.' He said tired.

'Will it be okay?'

The mill, payrolls and orders.

'For this year, yes. If spring and summer are good, then the next year will be good too. Let's hope for that.'

She stood up and made her way to go to retire for the night. However, she stopped in front of the door.

'John.' She repeated. 'I need to speak with you.'

He looked at her sharply.

'About Miss Hale.' She added icely.

'What about her ?' He asked going back to his plate.

'I received a letter from her aunt.'

Mr. Thornton was indeed surprised that Mrs. Shaw would write to his mother directly. He put the cutlery down and stopped eating.

'She talked about some situations that led to misbeliefs... similar to the riot we faced few months ago.'

'I see.' He coldly said. 'Those situations truly happened.'

'John, you have no choice anymore. Neither does this Miss Hale.' She said with disgust.

'Mother, I will not force her into a marriage she does not want. Now, let's go to bed.' He concluded without space to discussion, then left the room. It was sunday night and he was tired. Tomorrow was the beginning of a new week. He focused on that thought and went to sleep.

Mr. Hale arrived in Milton with Mr. Bell on Monday. He had received the letter of Aunt Shaw on Sunday and took the first train afterwards.

They both walked from the train station to Malborough Mills and went up to the office of Mr. Thornton.

'The master is not here. You can wait for him at home or come back later.'

'Thank you but we will wait here.' Mr. Bell answered.

The master came back in later afternoon and found the two men in his office. One, his friend and the other one, his landlord.

'Gentlemen.' He said and saluted them. Happy to see Mr. Hale but confused by the turn of events.

'John.' Mr. Hale said. 'I need to speak with you.'

'About Margaret.' Mr. Bell added.

Mr. Thornton sat behind his desk and looked at them seriously.

'John..' Mr. Hale's voice shattered. 'There is a rumor in London that you are engaged to Margaret.'

'More precisely,' Mr. Bell began to say. 'It is said that Margaret is engaged with someone in the North. So, we presume it must be you. Her aunt wrote to us about an event...'

Mr. Thornton stood up abruptly and faced the window. His mind was full and blank at the same time. Could it be possible ?

'John, do you understand what I am asking ?' Mr. Hale whispered weakly.

'She won't have me.' He confessed briskly, still his back to them, watching the hands work. 'Your daughter, I proposed once and she refused me.'

Those words fell on Mr. Hale and Mr. Bell as stones. They looked at each other. Mr. Bell was certainly not as surprised as Mr. Hale, but still, they had not see it coming.

'When ?' Mr. Hale kindly asked.

'After the riot... Anyway, she will not marry me.' He concluded.

'The issue is...' Mr. Bell tried to explain. 'that Margaret has been seen alone on a balcony at some party with a man. And, a rumor came from Milton to London that she was seen also at a train station at night with a man. In London, the rumor believes it is the same man. Therefore, Margaret's reputation is on the edge. Few gentlemen that were having marital intentions towards Margaret, and one gentleman in particular, changed their mind thinking she is already engaged. If we do not decide about it now, she will never marry. Which, I am not certain she would be displeased by that idea but she will be a paria. Chased by society and unwelcolmed to most places. No one wants in their entourage someone rejected by society and good morals. No matter the truth. Were you that man, Thornton ?'

A conflict raised inside him. He was one of them. Not both. Would he save Margaret until the end and in front of the eyes of her father ? The answer was obvious. He was doomed to love her.

He turned his back and watched the two men then went to sit back behind his desk.

'I made a mistake.' He said. 'Mr. Hale, I am truly sorry.'

Mr. Hale and Mr. Bell were perfectly aware that at the train station, it was Fred, but they did not say anything. At London, then it was John Thornton, and it was enough to prepare a wedding.

'In the letter of Mrs. Shaw, she also mentions a public exchange at the universal exhibition, is it true ?'

John completely forgot about that moment. He nodded.

Mr. Hale sighed heavily.

'I see no other solution.' Mr. Bell concluded. 'I will marry Margaret.'

Mr. Thornton looked at him with surprise and horror. Margaret in the arms of that old man ?

'Never.' He cut him angry. Despite his pride, he would lay his feelings in front of the two men. 'You want Miss Hale to marry someone three times her age. How is it better for her ?'

'Better a kind old man than a rough young one.' Bell answered sharply. 'When I die, she will have enough to live with and do whatever she wants. But, I agree with you, Thornton, even if your words lack in style, to marry me is not the best solution. It would be better if it were you, even if you do not want to.'

No want her. A joke it was. Of course, he wanted her.

He wanted her in his bed. He wanted to make love to her. To touch. To kiss. To slowly take off her closing. To tear apart the corset. Then put his lips on her legs, up and up. To feel her shivered under his touch not knowing how to feel, neither how to behave. He wanted to see the proud Margaret Hale to be shy and reserved. He wanted to teach her love. He wanted to teach her passion. Step by step, he wanted to see the shyness become fire. He wanted to surprise her with pleasure she would have never expected in the bedroom of a married couple.

But, John Thornton was broken. He had no confidence anymore as a man. He feared her rejection. He feared that his touch would hurt her and bring nothing else. He could not bear it. To hurt his wife.

He wanted to embrace her properly but he was not a gentleman. She told him it, she engraved it in his soul. And, if he was true to himself, he did not want to take her in his bed as a weak and boring gentleman. He wanted her as a man.

'I will tell you my answer, tomorrow.' He finally said. John Thornton needed time to think.

When he went home late that evening, he, as usual, found a plate and some food left for him. He sat down and ate a little.

'John ?' His mother came in. 'What did Mr. Bell and Mr. Hale want from you ?'

He did not respond on the instant. His mind was a battlefield between his passion, his longing and his moral senses.

'They came to ask me to marry Miss Hale.'

His mother shook her head in rejection. She hated this Miss Hale. She hated her so much that her mind was full with dark thoughts.

'She should have left with her lover, far away.' She scornfully said.

He looked at her with sharp eyes until she looked away, ashamed by what she just said. But, this thought was all she had in mind. If only, Margaret Hale had left far far away. If only, she had left the mind and heart of her son.

'John,' She said. 'I am afraid that you have no choice anymore. You shoud not have go there. You should have stayed with me here, at Milton. I always said that London was a place of madness.'

She was furious.

'Tomorrow, I will say yes, mother. And after that, it will be official.'

'Do you think she will marry you ?'

'I do no think she has that much choice.'

* * *

Margaret was alone on her bed. Aunt Shaw announce her that she will marry Mr. Thornton next month. There were a few exhanges of letter and she claimed that she was taking care of everything.

Margaret felt terrible.

Last night, once gain, she barely slept. Seated on the edge on the window, she spent the night thinking about this situation.

First of all, she was digusted by society. The quick and poor judgment of her character based on a glimpse of an action made her want to throw out.

Second of all, her stomach was aching by another feeling, she could not bear to impose her to Mr. Thornton and force him to marry her. To condamn him to a life without love. To be with a wife he could not stand neither respect. And, that thought led to the next conclusion.

Thirdly, a deep sadness was living in her. What he said to her, what he thought of her. She could not bear it. His opinion was finally the only one that mattered.

At morning, she went down first to take breakfeast. She was alone. The rest of the house was still asleep.

'A letter my lady.' A butler presented it to her. 'It arrived on last saturday but Mrs. Shaw forbad us to give it to you until today.'

Margaret's curiosity grew as well as the surprise in her eyes.

'Why ?' She whispered. The butler shook his head. How could he know the intention behind his mistress ?

'Last saturday ?' Last saturday was the day of the Larzsen's Party.

'The one before.' The butler precised.

A long time ago so.

She took the letter and opened it.

_Miss Margaret Hale,_

_ I closed the case. The police will not bother you anymore. _

_ Be assure that any foolish passion from my part is now extinguished._

_ Mr. John Thornton_

Margaret firmly held the letter. She could not believe her eyes. Why did her aunt would want to hide this letter until today ?

It was even worse. Now, a wedding was taking place and this letter was the proof that it will be a marriage without his love.

Margaret went straight up back to her room and let her emotions flowed out.

Those terrible words and the look of disgust on his face at the party. The fact that he closed the case and without knowing it, saved her brother of further investigation. The elegance he had when he tried to deal with all that without knowing anything and despite the rejection he suffered from her. How he had no faith in her integrity anymore.

And now, he was rejecting her as well with his heart and marrying her with his morals. It was like a knife slowly entering a heart.

That night, she finally got it.

She was in love with him.

* * *

'Mr. Thornton is here' Someone announced. Aunt Shaw and Margaret were in the living room.

'Pardon ?' Margaret said bluntly.

'Let him in' Mrs. Shaw ordered.

'Aunt, what..' Margaret was utterly surprised.

'Mr. Thornton, what a pleasure.' Aunt Shaw welcomed him in without letting Margaret finish her sentence.

He nodded.

'Thank you for answering my letter and coming so soon.'

Margaret was short with words of all that was said in front of her. What letter ? Why coming here ? They were already meant to marry next month, what more could possibly be done ?

'I ask you to come here because I wanted to properly ask you to marry my niece.' Mrs Shaw said. 'It is already agreed by letters but I wanted to have a real talk.'

Magaret could not believe what she was hearing.

'She is young and have a strong spirit but she is a gentle person. I hope you will forgive her actions.'

It was too much. Mr. Thornton was cold as ice. But, he noticed the fists of Miss Hale shaking strongly on her skirt.

To see her, not able to voice her mind. He hated it. And, at the same time, deep down in himself, he needed to admit that if it was the only way for him to have her, he would bow to it and burn in hell afterwards for those rude actions.

'I have already agreed on this wedding.' He said to Aunt Shaw but his eyes still on his future bride.

Margaret was white as snow. Her face on her skirt, trying really hard to appear cool-headed when he knew a lively fire was burning inside her. He found her magnificent.

'I would like to speak alone with Miss Hale.' He finally added.

Magaret looked up. Their eyes were linked to each other. Surprise in hers, darkness in his. Aunt Shaw left the room. They were alone.

For a while, no words were spoken. Margaret could not stand it.

'Do not marry me if you do not want to.' She said with clumsiness.

He watched her quietly and took his time before answering. He refused to let his feelings reveal him.

'I do not think I have much choice anymore.' He concluded.

She sighed and lowered her eyes.

'If you do not want to marry me. I will cancel the wedding. I do not care about what others say about me.' Mr. Thornton also said.

It was the turn of Margaret to look at him, very carefully. She could call off the wedding. She did not care to be a paria. Mr. Bell told her that he would take care of her and if she wanted to, they could go to Spain and travel until South America. She did not care much about others neither.

But, since the night she admitted she was in love with him, Margaret was seing him with a new eye. This secret of her heart, she finally revealed to herself, was now linked to a darker thought : she was secretly not so sad about this wedding.

She looked at him and thought of Anne Latimer. Then, she thought about the ladies at the party talking about him in a vulgar way. So, for once, she watched him as a man : he was handsome. No, not just handsome, he was attractive and strong. His hands were large and capable. A sense of security was coming from him. And, he was the only one to whom she was not afraid to speak her mind and knowing he would not see her as an insolent young woman but just as a person with her own spirit.

She had double feelings inside her, she could not stand the fact that he will marry her despising her. But, she could not stand for him to be marry to someone else.

'I do not think I have much choice neither.' She finally said, admitting her bad selfishness.

He got up and put a box on the table. 'Do what you want.' Then he left.

She opened it and it was an engagement ring. Four little stones, two green and two blue.

She decided she will wear it.

Margaret took a pen and paper, she needed to write this instant to the dressmaker. She would have a white dress made of cotton, imported from Malborough Mills and done by the most successful dressmaker of London. She will have the most beautiful dress she has ever worn. For once in her life, Margaret allowed herself to be selfish.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hello everyone, **_

_**I would like to thank you for the loving reviews on the last chapter. As you can tell now, I love complicated stories because I think human beings are full with complexities. My characters have many faults. **_

_**By the way, did you notice the picture I chose for this story ? **_

_**Have a nice day**_

_**Giscarme**_

* * *

_**Chapter 6**_

Margaret arrived at Milton one day before the wedding. A wonderful londonian wedding, that is what her aunt wanted but it was without taking in consideration the strong opinion of Mrs Thornton. And, therefore, after few letters with Mrs. Thornton, Aunt Shaw had no choice but to agree to let Margaret marry in the church of Milton.

Marrying her son to one girl she hated was enough. If Mr. Thornton was saving Margaret's reputation with this wedding, Aunt Shaw could at least agree with a wedding in another city than London, even in Milton. Certainly, Mrs. Thornton used this argument. And this thought made Margaret smiled.

Two days before, the wedding dress was finally done. She had been very strict about it and neither Edith or Aunt Shaw could have said anything to change her mind. The dress was exactly what she wanted. It was even a bit daring if she could admit it to herself.

'Everyone will look at you Maggie.' Edith said with an envy not even hidden. 'I have never seen a dress in cotton so beautiful. Your husband will be proud.'

_I hope so_, Margaret thought. But, she was not really sure Mr. Thorton was aware that she ordered from his mill neither that the dress was made, to be true to herself, for him and only him in mind.

_Let time do his job_, she repeated to herself. _Be patient_.

When she arrived at the train station, an odd feeling stroke her. Margaret thought about the Outwood Train incident and Inspector Mason, she thought about Mr. Thornton covering up her lies and it hurt her more than she expected. But, after those first feelings, she had another that covered her like a coat in a cold winter, a sense of... _home_. And, it felt warm.

Aunt Shaw booked rooms to stay at the main hotel. It was out of question to sleep under the same roof than her soon-to-be husband. They will stay for the wedding than leave almost immediately. For them, being here was already the greatest proof of love.

When, they finally installed their belongings, Margaret left them and went out of the hotel. She needed to walk to be able to breath. She knew with all her hear that Edith and Aunt Show cared for her very much but sometimes, they had the ability to steal all the air in a room.

Margaret went to Princeton to see Bessy but she found the house closed. Therefore, she went to walk towards the hills of Milton to be able to have a nice view. She felt immediatly better. The view gave her an inch of freedom and she appreciated it a lot on this particular day. Her last day as Margarate Hale.

Tomorrow, she will be a married woman. Linked to a man for the rest of her life. She will live a new life, in a new house with new rules to understand and to comply to.

_Why did she want to cry ?_

Margaret went down the hill and arrived behind the church. Some tears naturally fell when she realized she forgot to buy flowers to put on the grave of her mother. When she approached the grave, she gasped with surprise. There were laying there a bouquet of yellow flowers, fresh, not fully flourished. Margaret sat in front of her mother's stone and caressed the petals. She began to cry once more in front of this gentle gesture. The person who did this was kind and loving. And, she knew who it was.

She came back to the hotel quite late and found around a table having tea, Mrs Thornton and Miss Thornton.

'Still wandering around.' She commented bitterly.

'This is a very bad habit Margaret.' Aunt Shaw added.

Miss Thornton could not help herself to smile in front of the situation.

'My son was busy, he could not come to see you.' Mrs Thornton explained proudly.

'I hope the mill is doing fine.' Margaret asked.

'Of course you care now, it will put bread into your mouth.' Mrs. Thornton blurted.

Aunt Shaw and Edith looked at each other weirdly.

'I fear it is time for you to go home. We have so many things to do.' Edith falsely exclaimed. 'It was such a nice moment Miss Thornton, I hope you will come in London.'

Fanny smiled widely and the two women left.

Just after diner, someone knocked on the door. Edith opened it, it was Mr. Thornton, all black, shoulders less broad than usual. He seemed tired and it was quite late.

'Let's them talk alone for a while.' Aunt Shaw said. 'You will be married tomorrow anyway.'

Mr. Thornton went to stand by the fireplace.

'How are you ?' He asked once they were alone.

Margaret was a bit surprised by this question. It's been a month since they talked to each other, it felt weird to hear his voice and to know that tomorrow he will be her real husband.

'I am fine, thank you, and you ?' She politely answered.

That cold answer infuriated Mr. Thornton, he did not want a polite front.

'Thank you for the flower.' She finally said after while.

He looked at her but did not move. He seemed to try to analyze what she was saying.

'It was not me.' He finally confessed.

Margaret was a bit shook.

'I...I don't understand.' She said. 'I was so sure.'

He did not answer.

'Well, anyway, it is not for that I came here.' He added. 'I wanted to offer you a last chance to walk away from this wedding.'

She looked at him.

She did not want to walk away from this marriage. But, did he ?

'Do you want me to walk away ?' She suddenly realized that she had to let him the chance to call off the wedding too.

Should he reveal his private and secret thought ? He did not want a marriage of convenience, but it was a thousand times better than to not have her at all. He would comply with it and have her near him for a lifetime. But, before going down with this path, his moral duty sumoned him to give her a chance to run away once more.

'I can give you money.' He added. 'You could live a good life by yourself in a new place...with someone else maybe.' The words he spoke broke his heart but he had to let her a chance to live with that other man. That despicable man.

Margaret was shocked by his words. She stoop up abrutly and went to face him in front the fireplace.

'You want to give me money ?' She whispered angrily. How could he think that she was that kind of woman ?

'You do not have to give me money at all Mr. Thornton ?' She coldly snapped. 'I do certainly not need your money. If you want me to leave and to go away, to leave you alone forever. Then say it. Say leave. And, I will do it. I gave my word to this wedding, I am not the kind of person to go back on my words.'

Then, she turned her back to him, furious. Tears of anger were coming but she tried with all her power to calm down. Did he have so much little faith in her that he would think she would accept money to leave ? He really had no respect for her integrity anymore. This thought was more hurtful than anything else.

'I can leave.' She said. 'Take my bags and leave. I do not want to be a bother to you. If you really have no respect for me. Tell me to leave. I do not care about others.'

He did not answer. Actually, he did not know what to answer.

'Is it because you do not want to appear to be the one to walk away from this wedding ?' She asked.

He turned back to watch violently. How could she think him as a weak man ?

'Do you really think I offer you to walk away from this wedding with money because I have not the courage to call it off myself ?' His words were harsh.

His eyes were filled with a fire that shook Margaret. She was going deep down for this fire. She realized the words she has spoken were wrong. He was a brave man. She knew it. He proved her many times before.

'I do not want to impose myself to you. If you want everything to stop and for me to leave, I will do it.'

She was offering to him exactly what he offered and she refused. She was proposing to take the blame and to face everyone without caring at all about opinions. He loved it, how she was brave. And, he could defintely not, on his own decision, let her go away. Not again. When she left for London, he thought he lost his mind. His actions afterwards in London was a result of this mix of emotions. Now, she was proposing to go away again. No, it was out of question. He proposed it for his moral duty, she refused. She was proposing to him the same deal, he did not want this neither. Then, it was decided, the wedding would take place.

'We will see each other at the church.' He finally concluded and left the room briskly.

Margaret went to bed but could not sleep at all.

* * *

The morning of her wedding, Margaret went out early. She went to the grave of her mother and prayed a while. She was missing her so much, especially now that all the difficult decisions were arriving one by one.

She took the flowers from the grave and went back to the hotel to prepare herself.

When Margaret entered the church, there were a lot of persons. She did not expect it. Many unknown faces. She laughed internally, she never thought that one day at her own wedding, it would be full of strangers. What an odd thought.

Mr. Thornton was watching her standing in the entree of the church, the light of the morning sun behind her.

'What a beauty.' He heard someone said in the audience.

Indeed, she was.

He wanted to grave this image in his mind of the rest of his life.

Her hair, lower than usual, it was a new style and it was pretty. On her head, a crown of yellow flowers. His heart shivered, did she … ? No, it was impossible. He told her yesterday that it was not him. Did she understand he lied ?

Her veil, long and light.

Her dress, he never saw such a dress. It was whiter than any fabric he ever seen except in...He was shook. Except in his mill. Was it his material ? She continued to approach and he could not take off his eyes away from her dress. The long sleeves and a low cut bustier. Her shoulders were bare and a small neckline was teasing a beautiful and full breast. A tight white satin waistband was the only piece of tissue that was not in cotton.

It was winter, it was cold and this dress was giving him warmth.

Then, she stood next to him and a smell of freshness came to him. Her smell was a delight.

Margaret looked at her soon-to-be husband. She was, as he was for her, shook by his appearance, he was very handsome. More than usual. And it was giving her emotions she did not know until now.

He took her hand and she shivered. It was as in a dream. Blur and quick when the eyes open from a captivated dream.

The priest announced them as husband and wife and it was over.

They went home and all the guests came with them. In the carriage, they sat silently. Many people were in the streets. She did not understand why.

Once at home, the ladies went on a side to have refreshments while Mr. Thornton was with some mills masters invited for the occasion.

'Well, Thornton...' Someone smiled.

He looked at him puzzled.

'She is a really beautiful bride.' Another finished the sentence of the first gentleman.

'You will have beautiful children with such a mother.'

Children ? It was something he never hoped to think about. In the corner of his eyes, he looked at her. It was true, she was indeed magnificent. And now, his wife. He always felt a sense of deep ownership towards her and now, this feeling was official. But a child, they had a very long road to walk before arriving at this point.

Yesterday, they let each other the possibility to walk away from this situation. And both of them complied with their original decision. Now they were married. And they were expected to share a bed tonight. That thought ravished every other thoughts Mr. Thornton may had at this moment. He blushed and drank his glass to hide his embarrassment.

The day passed quickly and soon, the guests were leaving one by one. At some point, Margaret coud barely fake smiles anymore.

'My lady.' A girl said. 'Can I show you your room ?'

Margaret nodded and was glad to retire.

The girl showed her the way to a bedroom upstairs. Few candlelights were placed accross the room.

'I will fetch the girl that will attend you my lady.'

Margaret was alone in the bedroom, she looked at her in the mirror. She glad of herself about the dress. Aunt Shaw and Edith wanted something very extravagant and Margaret refused to every suggestions they made. It was her only condition, she agreed to everything else but refused to let someone else design her dress. Not this one.

Strangely, knowing that at her wedding, she wore the cotton made by her husband gave her chills. It gave her a sense of pride she did not know could exist. Like if she was wearing him.

Margaret sat on the edge of the bed, facing the moon.

Now, she was Mrs. Thornton. Her husband was a business man and a magistrate. Mr. John Thornton. Margaret always told herself that the day she will marry, she will have no secret to her husband anymore. With all her power, Margaret intended to keep this promise she made to herself. She will tell him about Fred, tonight. She was already very shameful to have marry her husband without telling him. It was out of question to hide anything from him anymore. Otherwise, if she did so, she would not have respect for her own integrity as well.

Another thought came to her, she blushed. The day she agreed to marry him, she decided that she would be his wife, fully and completely. Body and soul. Even if she was scared of it and the unkown. No one told her anything about the happenings in a man and woman's bedroom. But she will comply. Twice he offered the chance to walk away, twice she refused. This marriage was now her new life.

Someone knocked on the door and a girl came in.

'I'm here to attend you m'lady. I will assist you if you agree with it.' The girl was shy. Margaret liked her instantly. She nodded and the girl began with the dress. She hanged it into the wardrobe then helped Margaret with the corset.

'My lady, do you...' The girl hesitated. 'D'you need anything ?'

Margaret looked at ther with big blue eyes. She understood what the girl meant. Does she need anything to prepare for the night ? Yes, she whished someone else would have prepared her for that. She was not prepared at all, she had not idea what to expect except a certain intimacy. She missed her mother so dearly. Tears arose.

'Oh my lady...' The girl approached and put an hand on the back of Margaret. She trembled. 'I'm sure...my lady, that the master is not... as severe as... he is to us.' The girl was trying to be helpful.

Margaret after few sobs understood her meaning.

'Oh no.' She said. 'It is not that. I am sure Mr. Thornton is very kind.' She blushed. 'It is just... I thought of my mother and I am very sensitive today. I lost her few months ago. It seems the pain will not go away.'

'Oh my lady. I am sorry I understood wrongly.' She whispered. 'I lost my mom too. When I was young. But, still, I still think of her often. I believe when you truly love, time is not necessarily helping. When I think of her, the pain is always still very present as the first day I lived without her. It's just that we adapt ourselves to the pain, I think so.'

Margaret looked at her brightly. 'That we have no choice that to live with the pain until we forget it is always present.'

The girl nodded and Margaret smiled. She was happy to find someone understanding her.

* * *

John Thornton was saying goodbye to the last guests of the evening. Fanny and his mother retired a moment ago as well. It was quite late. The wedding went well and the day was splendid. Margaret has been very happy to see her father and her family in Milton. When he saw her shoulders in the early evening not as straight as usual, he called a servant to help Margaret to retire. He understood that she was very tired.

He was alone now. He finished his glass of liquor and closed the book he was pretending himself to read. To be honest, he did not, for the entire hour he stayed in the library, turn one single page. He was thinking to her.

He decided to go to see her. He climbed the stairs and stopped in the middle. Someone was coming out of his room, a servant.

'Are you sure m'lady you do't need anything ?' She said.

He did not hear the respond but he knew that she was speaking to Margaret. Only her could be in his room.

'Do not cry m'lady. It terribly hurts, always, and everytime. It is like that. It is just life.' Then she closed the door and left.

John Thornton waited a moment in the stairs. He was upset by what he heard and tears came to him. She was crying. So, she hated to have married him that much. He was angry, so deeply. He let her the choice, several times, to walk away. And still, she remained on her position. Now, she was crying.

He went up and opened the door of his room more violently that he wanted to.

The bedroom was warm with the fire lit and candlelights. A smell of flowers was there. He did not seen her immediately. She was seated on the edge of the window, facing the night. Her hair down, her nightgown, and the flowers still on her head. His heart bloomed.

When she heard him, she turned suddenly to him and stood up.

They faced each other for while and he went to sit down in a chair in front of the fire place.

He rubbed his forehead with his hand.

Margaret was shook by his coldness. But she decided to ignore it.

She walked across the room to stand by the bed, in front of him, separated by few meters.

'I...' She began with a small voice. Appearing more afraid that she wanted to.

When he heard her, he grabbed the armsrests of the chair. She was scared to speak to him. Margaret was never scared. It angried him even more.

'Are you tired ?' He finally asked before she could speak.

She looked at him strangely. 'Yes.'

It was his turn to look at her, his hand still on his face. 'It was a full day.' He heard her say.

He thought about his young years for a brief moment and how he spent his time and energy to earn his position, to prove himself to the others masters that he was one of them and even more, he spent his twenties thriving to be who he was now. And, in front of her, he needed to do it all again, to prove himself.

Why could she not accept that even if he was no gentleman, he was no monster and could never harm her ? Was it not obvious ?

'I will leave you tonight.' He finally decided.

'What ?' She said bluntly. 'What do you mean ?'

He stood up and made a step toward her. She instinctively stepped back. He watched it and his heart broke.

He murmured something she could not hear.

'I need to speak with you.'

He stopped before leaving the room. He turned to look at her, she was close to the bed, a hand on the bar of the canopy bed.

_Was he so awful ? _He wondered.

'What do you want to say ?'

She breathed, gathering her thoughts.

'Mr. Thornton, I need to speak to you about an important matter.'

_She called him... Mr. Thornton ?_

'Miss Hale.' He snapped back angrily. 'I listen to you.'

Hearing his wife speaking to him like that made him even angrier, to a new level he had no idea could exist.

He feared to go insane. He needed to control himself.

'I am scared.' She finally confessed.

'That I see.' He cut her without manners.

She looked at him, breathing heavily. She tried to continue to ignore his coldness, even if it was more and more difficult.

'I am scared about the topic I need to speak with you.'

He got curious.

'At the train station...' She began diffcultly.

'What ?' He cut her briskly. 'You want to speak about that, Miss Hale, now ?'

She was shocked by the violence in his voice.

'I do. The man at the train station...' She tried to continue.

'I do not wish to hear about the ones embracing you at night.'

It came out even more wrong that what he had in mind. When he watched her face becoming red by his words, he immediately regretted it but it was his true mind.

'How can you say such things ?' She bitterly asked. Tears rising in her eyes.

'Did you not want to speak about this topic ?' He responded even more brutaly.

She did not know anymore how to respond to not worsened the situation.

'I do Mr. Thornton. But, I do not whish to speak it that way.'

'Well, Miss Hale, I do not wish to hear about the men who have embraced my wife, as I just said.'

It was even more insulting. _How could he speak that way to her ?_ She finally saw red. All the restrain she was using since the beginning of their conversation just flew away after his words.

'No men embraced me.' She raised her voice. 'And that man at the train station...'

'I told you'. He yelled. 'It is no. It is a subject that is out of the question. I will never want to hear about that again.'

He looked at her with a deep sadness. Thinking of this man was for him insufferable. And especially, on his wedding night, he could not stand it.

She grew angrier. 'Mr. Thornton, I forbid you to speak to me that way. But if you want to use those words then I will do as you do.'

She breathed heavily.

'Bed me, and you will see I have no idea how to please a man.'

She turned away from him, ashamed of her own words. She was so agitated that she was helping herself to remain standing while grabbing the bed.

He was furious.

He let his both hands fall on the table. 'I will not... bed you.' he said with a dark voice. Then, he left to the room joined to their bedroom.

Margaret fell on her knees and cried until exhaustion.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hello everyone, **_

_**I wanted to make a surprise to you and publish two chapters in a row. One of the files broke and I had to rewrite this entire chapter. (« hello sadness, my old friend... »)**_

_**Anyway, I thank you once again for the reviews and kindness. It is always nice to read your opinions. **_

_**Have a great day**_

_**Giscarme**_

* * *

_**Chapter 7**_

Her first morning as a married woman, Margaret woke up early. But not as early as Mr. Thornton and his mother.

Someone knocked on the door, the same girl than yesterday came in to help Margaret to get dressed. They were both very silent and when the girl finished, she left the room with a wandering glare on the bed sheets.

Margaret came down and found herself alone. She looked around and finally sat down at the table. A servant came in at this exact moment.

'Where is everyone ?' She asked.

'Miss Thornton is in bed. Mrs Thornton and Mr. Thornton already took their breakfast. Mr Thornton went to the mill to work and Mrs. Thornton in town.'

'What time do they eat on mornings ?' She inquired a bit more.

'Miss Thornton, it varies a lot. Mrs Thornton and Mr. Thornton, around 6 am. It depends.'

It was early, very early. It meant they were up around 5 am.

Margaret was finishing her tea when Mrs. Thornton entered the room. Heavy and dark eyes laid on her. Margaret stood up to greet her but Mrs. Thornton spoke before she could.

'I heard the sheets did not need to be changed.' She bitterly said.

Margaret did not understand. She knew the intimacy, a couple must have on a wedding night, did not happen. She knew nothing else. How uneducated she felt.

Mrs Thornton did not move but Margaret could not comply with the desdain put upon her. She left the room without a word and climbed the stairs. A servant passed by.

'Fetch the girl that attended to me. Tell her to come to see me.' Margaret ordered.

Then, she entered her bedroom. The girl arrived few minutes afterwards.

'Do you need anything my lady ?'

'I am Margaret, what is your name ?' She asked.

'Prissy, my lady.' The girl answered quite shyly.

'Did Mrs. Thornton ask you to report things to her about me ?'

Prissy blushed. It meant yes.

'What did you answer ?'

'She asked if the sheets were dirty. I said no. She wanted to ask more but the master came in and told me go away.'

Margaret was furious. And, she could imagine the angry brows of Mr. Thornton's face hearing his mother discussing their inexistent intimacy with maids.

'I offer you to be my personal maid. If ever Mrs. Thornton asks you anything about me, you must answer that you do not know. In exchange, I offer you to keep this job for a very long time and to protect you if ever anyone in this house bothers you. Do you want it ?'

Prissy accepted.

'Do you like attending to me ?'

'Oh yes. You are so very lovely my lady.'

Margaret smiled. 'If you ever betray me, I will make you quit without delay. Is it clear between us ?'

'Yes, my lady.'

Margaret knew she was mean and tough but she needed to have at least one person she could trust. She could not bear to know that her intimacy would be spoken about every morning.

After this exchange, Margaret came down and put her coat on, under the hateful eyes of Mrs. Thornton.

Princeton was her destination. Bessy welcomed her with warmth and smiles.

'Where is Nicholas ?' Margaret asked.

'At the Union, or the bar, or trying to find work... my father is between very different envies those days.' Bessy answered nonchalantly.

'Maybe, to Mr. Thornton, he could try.'

'Your now husband, I don't know. He is very proud and my father as well. Having an union leader in his mill, I am not sure he would like it much.'

Margaret did not respond. She had no idea the position of Mr. Thornton on the subjet but she knew he was an honest man.

'Margaret, how can you be out so early after your wedding ? Are you feeling ok ?' Bessy looked at her front hair to toes.

'Why would I not be ok ?' Margaret laughed.

'I did not know the master had such skills.' Bessy laughed as well.

This time Margaret did not smile. Everyone seemed to be more aware than her of the wedding night. She wished so much that Edith or Aunt Shaw would have said something. At this particular moment, she hated to be a londonian polite girl. She wanted the knowledge not the rules. She needed her mother. She sighed and spent still two hours with Bessy. When the clock rang 2pm, she stoop up abruptly.

'I must go.'

'I can guess. I was already very shock that the old crow allowed you to go out.' Bessy commented.

'She can try to prison me. She do not know who I am, I think.'

Bessy kissed Margaret on the forehead and she left. When she arrived at the doors of the mill, she looked at the window where the office of her husband was. She saw nothing. But he was there watching her, from the other side. He looked at his wife coming back from town, her dashing figure and elegant grace. He saw few hands stop as well to look at her. They quickly went back to work when they saw the eyes of the master on them, full of anger and possessiveness.

Margaret went up to her bedroom and for the first time, she took her time to discover it.

It was a large room. The bed was the biggest one she has ever seen. She thought of Mr. Thornton, he was a tall and strong man. Certainly, a bed this large was needed. Around the canopy bed, heavy curtains were keeping the warmth inside at night.

In front of the bed, a fireplace with two chairs and a small tea table. On the left, a desk and a chair with a little library and few books. Margaret looked at the one on the chair. She carressed it and recognized it immediately. It was her Plato's. Margaret smiled.

On the right side of the fireplace, her vanity and dressing table with a nice mirror.

She opened the wardrobe and the dresser and only found the clothes of Mr. Thornton. For a small while, she stayed like this, smelling him. This room was warmer than she thought.

Under the window, few steps to be able to go on the roof but this little stair was used by her as a sitting area.

She wondered where her belongings could have been put. On the right side of the bed, a door, it was the bathroom. Bright and white with a bathtube in the middle and huge windows with white curtains.

On the other side of the bed, another door. Margaret opened it and discovered the most beautiful small boudoir. Her dresses were exhibited and organized in opened cabinets. The walls were yellow and the windows had tainted glass, protecting her intimacy and making the light inside the room full of colors. On the floor, a soft and warm carpet. The winter, with the cold, it will be very much appreciated.

Next to the fireplace, a forth door, she opened it and discovered a smaller bedroom that must have been very recently furnished. No clothes neither decorations were inside.

Margaret was feeling good inside this room. She loved it. She felt at home and protected. _Was it strange ?_

She looked at the clock. She had a lot of time before diner and therefore, a bath was what she needed to warm her cold bones. Once in the hot water, she let herself rest. She dozed off for a long while without wondering much about anything else. Tonight, she decided that she will speak to him. No matter how, she will tell him about Fred. It could not go on like this and she would not want that. The promise she made to herself, to never keep a secret from her husband, she had the firm will to keep it.

John Thornton had a diner with others masters that same evening. At first, he did not expect to intend but actually, after last night, there were nothing to keep him from going. And mostly, the situation of the mills needed to be discuted in a larger group. They all suffered from the riot and mills were facing tougher financial issues than expected.

He came home to change in early evening before joining the masters. There were no signs of anyone at home. He knocked on the door of the bedroom, no one answered. He came in and got undressed, he took a cleaner outfit and decided to refresh himself a bit. The day had been long and he got dirty after fixing a broken machine.

When he opened the door of the bathroom, all he saw was mist and steam. It was very bright. Then, long brown hairs were facing him, falling from the bathtube to the floor. On the other side, two legs up and rested on the edge of the bathtube. He closed the door as quickly as he has opened it. Not once, he expected to see her like that. Such a vision was arousing. She was a mermaid. Magic and enchantress. He whished he could opened again this door, grab her face in the water and kiss her ardently.

When the water got colder, Margaret woke up from her state. She looked at the clock. It was time for super. She came down and found only one plate on the table, again.

'Miss Thornton and Mrs Thornton were invited at Mrs. Houracks' home. The master is at a diner with others masters.' A servant explained.

Margaret did not complain. She asked to be served in the library and read for the whole evening a book she found there.

The diner lasted long in the night. None of the masters had real solutions to propose. Some of them even spoke about speculation. It was when he decided to leave them and went home. He arrived in front of his bedroom around midnight. There were lights under the door, he opened it softly, still the image of Margaret in the tube strongly present.

She was in front of the window. Hearing him entered, she stood up.

'I was waiting for you.' She said.

'No one told you I was out today ?' He asked.

'At supper, a servant told me I would eat alone tonight.' She explained without caring much.

He sat on a chair. No one spoke to her in his family all day, he concluded. She would be very alone if this continues this way. He was very tired, he put his face in his hand and rubbed it in his palm.

'I need to speak with you.' She said. 'I want you to listen to me until the end. Do you agree ?'

He did not answer. In a way, he liked how firm she was. Margaret took the silence as an agreement.

'About the train station incident...'

Mr. Thornton grabbed the armrests. 'I already said no.' He cut her.

'Please. It is very important to me.' She begged. 'The man I was with at the train station has trouble with the law. He was in the navy and had a different with his captain. A bad man, using children for his own interests, violent and insane. Some of members of the crew tried to stop him, they called it a mutiny and since then, he is wanted by the navy and doomed to be hanged here. He fled away to Spain, Cadix, more precisely.'

Margaret spoke quickly without taking the time to breath. She was scared John would leave at any moment. 'I wanted to thank you for him. I feel that it is my duty to thank you.'

_How was it her duty ? _He thought. She looked at her, she was next to the bed as yesterday. Her hands were gathered on her stomach. He got chills all around his body. Could it be … ?

'I lied to the police.' She finally confessed with tears in her eyes. 'I am terribly ashamed of that. I felt that it was a question of life or death. The secret was not mine. What you did, I have to thank you for him.'

'I did not do anything for that gentleman.' He said bitterly. 'I did it for your father. To spare him the shame of seeing his daugther's reputation...'

'I know.' Margaret quickly added. 'And, it means so much for me. For my father, my family, Edith and Aunt Shaw. It was also important for my mother.'

Mr. Thornton was quite confused. So, the whole family knew about this gentleman and the delicate situation with Margaret, no one told him she had a very familiar relationship with him. He once again looked at her hands on her stomach. He wanted to yell and cry.

'Taking the blame for him' He said furious. 'I would have died a hundred times in his place instead of letting you bear the shame.'

He went to the window. 'If this is what you call a gentleman. Well, Miss Hale, this is not the sort of man I respect.'

He was so very angry.

'I needed for him to tell you. To thank you.'

'You owe me nothing for this gentleman.' He raised his voice. 'Why would I care if he dies or not ? Who is he to me ? Who is he to you ?'

Margaret realized foolishly how stupid she had been. She was so stressed and scared that she forgot the most important part of the revelation.

'I am sorry I did not say it earlier.' She began to cry. 'This man is my brother. Frederik Hale.'

He looked at her with a strength she rarely felt. He left the room and for the second night in a row, she spent the night crying.

Mr. Thornton was torn. For months, he believed he had no chance to ever hold a woman such as her. Today, she revealed that his jealousy was misplaced. Time was his only ally. He took his pen and paper. He knew people in the navy. He would write to one of them to confirm it. He could not go down in this married life if all his insecurities were still very present. 'He was his brother.' He whispered before falling asleep.

When she came down the next day for breakfast, Mrs. Thornton was waiting for her.

'Miss Hale, I am right to still call you Miss, isn't it ? I always th...' She said bitterly. She did not have time to finish her sentence, Mr Thornton came in at this unexpected hour. He saw the two women and the red on the cheeks of his wife. What he heard was enough. He was in fury.

He opened the door of the library and invited his mother in. Margaret could hear them but, doing so, Mr. Thornton was giving at his mother the decency earned by the age.

'I told you before the wedding, I told you yesterday, I am telling you again. She is my wife. Insulting her is insulting me. I warn you now, this is the last time. Mother do not make me do what you fear and chose between both of you.'

He added something else but Margaret could not hear the end of the sentence.

For breakfast, Fanny joined them to the greatest surprise of everyone. Fanny Thornton never rose from bed to such an hour without a real motivation.

'We are invited to the Sklickson's ball in two weeks.' Mrs. Thornton said while drinking her tea.

Fanny jumped and clasped her hands in delight. 'What a wonderful thing. We must have new gowns made. Aren't we, John ?'

'We ?' Mrs. Thornton asked. 'I will certainly not.'

'I was speaking of Margaret, I can call you Margaret right ?'

'Of course.' She kindly smiled. 'However, I do not need a new dress. I have all I need in my trousseau.'

'Do not say such terrifying things, poor dear. It will be your first ball as husband and wife. Surely, you want your bride to feel fine John ?'

John did not answer but he looked at Margaret before nodding to Fanny. 'Then, it is settled.'

After breakfast, and once Fanny Thornton finished to prepare to got out, the two ladies headed to the dressmaker on the main street of Milton.

'Look at those ribbons and pearls' Fanny said showing off few samples. 'I have never seen them before. And, I know this place as my own pocket. Surely, they must be new.'

Margaret looked at them. 'I have no idea. I am not aware of the last trends. In London, I never went to the dressmaker without Edith or Aunt Shaw so I would not know.'

'Except for your wedding dress I've heard.'

'Except for this one.' Margaret nodded.

Fanny Thornton turned around and went to see few others ladies in the boutique. Margaret stayed in her corner looking at some other fabrics.

'What a beautiful color, Margaret, it would look really good on you.' Fanny said while handing her a pinky tissu. 'With ribbons of the same color, of course.'

Margaret lifted up her face to look at her. 'Miss Thornton, I am not sure being a candy would put me at my best advantage.'

Fanny laughed heartily. 'I had no idea you had the slighest sense of humor, Margaret.'

Margaret did smile at this remark. It is true, people usually thought, she was a boring person when actually, she liked to laugh a lot. She just never had someone to share her humour. Except her brother maybe, or Henry Lennox, very rarely.

'I must tell you.' Fanny said with a lower voice. 'My brother is a good person, strong and protective, even if he is stern and boring as no one else. I will not allow you to break him in any way. Know that I am really good at making people's life hell.'

Margaret was utterly surprised at Fanny's speech. She liked it very much. To see this side of the woman, what a spirit. She loved the threats of a dear sister. She would have done the same for Fred if she could have. This thought made a her heart shrank.

'I am well aware that I do not deserve him Miss Thornton.' Margaret answered sharply. She was in no rest when it came to passionnate spirit.

She saw the piercing eyes and the smirk of Thorntons' family on Fanny's face.

'Fanny.' The young lady corrected. 'Call me Fanny.'

Margaret smiled back. She took a material that was cathing her eyes and put it next to the face of Fanny. 'This icy blue color, with your eyes and your golden hair. It would look magnificent I believe.'

Fanny took it and went to see her in the mirror. She moaned appreciatly. 'I'll try.' She said, pretending to look disinterested but Margaret understood that she made a huge step in the Thorntons household. _Maybe_, she thought, _maybe she even made a friend_. A sense of relief came to warm her heart.

After lunch, where Mr. Thornton never attended because of the huge amount of work at the mill, the ladies sat in the living room. The weather was terrible. The winter colder than last year and Mrs Thornton was worried about orders.

Margaret approached Fanny that was reading a lady magazine.

'Fanny, I thought about what you said to me earlier.' Margaret said while serving her a cup of tea. She sat in front ot the young lady. 'I do agree with you fully. I do believe it is up to me if we will have a good married life or not.'

'For sure.' Fanny said with that smirk that was fixed on her face since morning. 'What do you have in mind ?'

'Do you know if your brother has any passion ?'

'Of course, he has.' She laughed. 'It is called the mill and Margaret Hale.'

Margaret blushed. She did not expect it.

'Pardon ?' She remembered his coldness and their last exchange. Surely the passion he had once is over, as he said it to her before.

Fanny did not answer but laughed a bit more.

'Apart the mill, what does he like ?' Margaret asked shyly without mentionning herself.

Miss Thornton took a long time to answer. 'Actually, I do not really know. When he was younger, he used to say that he would take a horse and ride, to forget and feel free. This kind of talk was when he was very tired. At that time, he thought I was too little to really understand things.'

'I can see you pretend to partially...' Margaret could not find the words to finish her sentence so Fanny did.

'Superficial. Indeed, it is less a burden for my mother and brother to think of me as someone that needs only pretty dresses. Which is true, I do not deny it. But, to say I do not care about my family would be a terrible lie. I love pretty things, I see nothing wrong at that. You are pretty by instance Margaret.'

The young lady flushed. This day was such a revelation. Fanny was nothing than she expected her to be. She was almost...spiritful.

'I like your opinions Fanny. I hope you will always give it to me.' Margaret honestly confessed.

'I promise if you promise me in return to never give me yours Margaret.'

This time, Margaret laughed openly. 'You know very well that when I care, I can not keep them for myself.'

'I do know, that is why I said it. So maybe, it would be less than usual.'

Margaret stayed there the whole afternoon, chatting with Fanny and discovering that in front of her was a woman full of cleverness.

Two days after this talk, a sunny morning came and Margaret thought it was a perfect day to have a nice moment outside the mill. She asked the servants to prepare a small packet of food. It was not snowing yet and they had been graced by some warm sunlight. The magic of november, she thought. Fanny and Mrs Thornton knew about that. They would eat without them today. Margaret even thought she saw Mrs. Thornton nod. Everything, for her son to rest, was for Mrs. Thornton a good thing, even if it was coming from her daughter-in-law.

Margaret had the horses prepared outside the mill and took her basket at hand. She came out of the house and walked to the mill, to the office of Mr. Thornton. It was the first time since their encounter she was back there.

'Go away.' He yelled when she knocked on the door.

She breathed, gathering up her courage. Why was she always stressed when she was meeting him ?

She slowly came in. A tall figure. Eyes possessed by his papers. Writing, scratching, counting, behind his huge desk. He was magnificent. Elegant and handsome. His face, not as stern as Fanny would say. Margaret looked at this man and imagined him closer to her. Close to the point that she would see nothing else but him. Those hands, long, elegant and strong, those hands were marvellous.

'I told you to go away.' He repeated angry.

He dropped the pen in his hand when his eyes lifted up to the person in front of his door.

'Mar...Miss Hale.' He whispered.

She made a few steps in his direction. John admired her dress, her slim waist and her curls around her face. How lovely she looked. _He wanted to hold her. _To kiss those lips. Red and pink, cherries.

'Are you hungry ?' She asked. This is the first thing that came to her mind to try to build a conversation.

'Not much.' He stood up gathering some papers.

'I thought we could...' she began.

He looked at the clock. 'I am sorry, I must go. I have no time to speak. I have a meeting to attend with some investors.'

She looked at him with her big blue eyes. 'Of course.' She said. _How stupid I am_, she thought. _Of course, a man like that can not go wandering around with me._ He has a business to run. _Am I so stupid ?_

Margaret went to the stables and informed them the horses were not need anymore. She felt hearbroken and mostly shameful about her own stupidity. How innocent she was. In a poor way. She took her basket and decided to go to walk her feelings out.

'Margaret, I didn't expect to see you.' Bessy said when she knocked.

'I didn't neither but I need a friend.' Margaret almost cried. 'How stupid I feel, Bessy.'

'What do you mean ? Is it not doing nice with your new husband ? '

'I feel that I am lacking in everything. Does it make sense ?'

Bessy looked at her from head to toes. 'Margaret' She answered honestly. 'If the master wanted a northern girl, he could have married ten times. If he wanted a girl without spirit, ten more, I tell you. He chose to marry you. He did not have to. No matter, all those rumors, when you are a man, wealthy and handsome as the master, rumors have nothing to do to him. He chose you because he wants to be with you. Don't you want it ?'

Margaret went closer to the fireplace, she put her hands there to catch a bit of warmth. 'I want it. I want him so very much.' She finally whispered. 'Does it not make me a bad person ?'

Bessy laughed. 'Wouah, London must be really full of bullshit. How is it wrong to want to be with your husband ? Just do as you want, you're married Maggie. You have every right to.'

Margaret laughed. She wanted to cry. Bessy was all she wanted right now. Margaret never thought that being in love and accepting it would put all her feelings in wildness.

John finished his meeting in time for diner. When he came home, he found Fanny and his mother at the table. Only two plates were served. Fanny looked at him astonished.

'Why are you here ?'

'What do you mean ? Where is Margaret ?' He asked, searching for her coat in the entree.

His mother looked at him and then looked back at her plate without saying anything.

'We thought she was with you.' Fanny explained.

'Why would she with me ?' His voice rose.

'She prepared a basket for you to eat today together. She told us she was going to you. Did you not see her at all ?' Fanny continued quite intrigued by the absence of her sister-in-law.

'She did what ?' He was perplexed. She came indeed in his office. She asked him if he was hungry and he hushed her out. He felt terrible. She tried to create a link for them and he sent her away.

'She did come in my office.' He said when looking at the window. Outside, it was darkness.

'John, where are you going ? Come, eat.' His mother said when she saw him take his coat and walk out of the house. He did not answer. Right now, he needed to find her.

He did not even opened the gates of the mill that he was facing her. Their brusk encounter startled her. She hold her bonnet when she almost crushed in his shoulders. He held her arms with strength and made her look at her.

'I...I am sorry' She apologized, a bit mortified by his sudden presence. 'I was with Bessy and the night came sooner than I expected. I hope I did not miss the diner. Your mother...'

'My mother does not have a word to say about our decisions.' He whispered fiercely.

Margaret was perplexed. 'I am sorry.' She repeated whithout really knowing why she was apologizing for. Seeing his face, she felt she needed to say it. A hundred times more. 'I am sorry.' She repeated again. This time, she said thinking about the hurt she must have infliged to him. 'I am so sorry.'

Tears rose in his eyes. He understood what she meant. That it was bigger than just a small apologize. She had nothing to apologize for. Everything she did was for her family, he had seen that. He understood it now. She was nothing but kindness, spirit and grace. He was trembling. And with his two strong hands, Margaret inside them, was trembling too.

'You have nothing to apologize for. I am sorry, I did not see your effort today.' His voice broke. When Margaret heard him, her heart shattered. What could she do to amend all the hurt she did to him ?

'Why did you not tell me ? Your plan to eat together ?' He asked, one hand moved from her arm to her shoulder.

She stepped back, freeing herself from his touch. She was ashamed.

'I am sorry.' She said once again. 'I have been stupid. To even think you would be free to go and do whatever I had plan at any time. It was foolish of me. I will remember it. No more surprises.'

It was true he was his own master, and yet the mill was his mistress. But in front him, a meter apart from him was his wife. Sobbing and trying desperately to stand proud and fierce.

'Next time.' He just said.

He offered his arm and she took it. They came home like this and parted in front of the bedroom with shy smiles. She left him with a lavender smell that he came to love more than anything else.

On next sunday morning, when Margaret came down for breakfast, she found John awaiting for her. A basket on the table. His coat on and her coat on his left arm. She watched him, he was so beautiful.

'I heard that you wanted to go have a ride. With the weather, we will take the carriage. In spring, let's ride horses.'

He saw her blushed and smiled with the brightest smile he's ever seen on her. It filled his heart. He helped her put his coat on and went outside. With attention, he helped her go on the carriage and took the lead.

'I will show you a corner of the North that I like.' He said.

The carriage took a small road and left the city. Margaret was watching the view, she had no idea, outside of Milton, it would be so green. They soon entered lands, and could see from far, farms.

He stopped the carriage inside a small valley.

'Let's go.' He said. He offered his hand and she took it shyly first. When they left the road to enter inside the forest, she took it with more strength to prevent her from falling. His heart was beating fast but he pretended to be indifferent.

'There.' He said. 'I like coming here when I feel like crawling.'

They were inside the forest, next to a river, protected from the winds by the trees and warmed by the sun. He landed a blanket on the soil. He sat and opened the basket. 'Breakfast' He added.

Margaret watched him display the food and felt incredibly powerful to see this man preparing this for her.

He handed his hand, she took it and sat on the blanket.

'I am glad...' She said.

He looked at her.

'To share this moment with you.'

John felt his heart burst. He wanted to answer with as much honesty than her. But he couldn't. Those months when he was rejected once, when he saw her hugging another man, when he saw her in London with those gentlemen around her, when they married without having time to court. All that made him less and less brave in the affairs of the heart. She was his dream. His goddess. His one goal. Now, she was his wife. And even with that, he did not have the confidence to put his feelings on display in front of her.

It will come, he will try. The day where he would be sure she loves him. Then, he will allow to lay in bed with her. To open his heart. For now, he forbad himself to even think to share her bed.

While he was thinking strongly about that, few drops came on them. He looked up and a black cloud was covering the sun.

'Fuck.' He said. Then watched Margaret. Did she hear him saying such word ? If she did, she did not let anything shown.

He quickly got up and took her hand. They ran until a cave. A huge rock was protecting them from the heavy rain they were facing. They stood next to each other in front of the cave, facing the forest.

Margaret began to smile. She felt so happy, there, in the nature. She felt so protected in this cave, watching the rain outside with her husband next to her. She laughed and looked at him.

'Are... you ok ?' He said. 'I am sorry. I never expected when I watched the sky this morning...'

'It is perfect.' Margaret cut him. 'It is truly perfect.'

She smiled like the sun rising on earth. He watched her and he wanted to cry. She was here and she was his. He took her hand and they stood like that until the sky calmed down.

It was long, a very long moment. In a bubble of happiness, both of them. With this simple touch, hand to hand, they were trying and it was beautiful.

'Let's go. The rain stopped.' He walked but did not let go of her hand. On the contrary, stronger, he was holding her as a treasure.

The carriage was not there anymore. 'Oh no, the horses must have been scared.' Margaret exclaimed.

They looked around a bit and quickly found the carriage few steps down, reversed. No horses at all around. John let Margaret's hand go and jumped from the hill to look at the carriage.

'It is nothing.' He said after inspected it. 'It would be easily fixed.'

'Good. Now, it seems that we will have to walk.'

'You can stay here and I can run to the house and come back with another one. You do not have to walk.'

'I love walking.' Margaret said with a smile. 'In Helstone, I spent my days walking around. There were so much to do.'

John loved it. To hear her speak about Helstone meant she felt confortable with him. He let her speak more and asked few questions about this town. He went there once, when he thought life gave up on him. The riot, the rejection, the man at the train station, he wanted to see where Miss Hale grew her famous spirit. And, he loved it. The atmosphere and the people, it was very different from the North.

'A horse.' She exclaimed. Running toward it before it ran away, she caught the horse and waited for John. He was looking at her. His wife running in the land, catching a horse and smiling. What a view.

'You can sit on it, I will walk next to you.'

'No.' She refused. 'I prefer to walk if you walk.'

A terrible idea came to him. 'In that case.' He said and jumped on the horse. He offered his hand to her and helped her climb in front of him. One arm around her waist and the other leading the horse. They had never been this close before.

He could feel her warm body against his. Sometimes, his arm, with the riding movement, brushed her breast. He put his hand on her stomach to steady her and hold her firmly against him. She was his. Her curls in his face, he adored it.

Margaret, on her side, was astonished by his strength. He was holding her with such easiness. She felt his torso. Straight and strong. She wanted to touch more but she did not dare. Something grew tougher behind her back and he moved swiflty when he realized his arousing.

They arrived at home and were welcomed by his mother. 'What happened ?' She worried to see them in such a state.

'The carriage. It fell down.' He answered. 'We have nothing, do not worry.'

He helped Margaret and they entered home, to have a hot meal and dry clothes.

The week passed very slowly. Margaret did not see her husband at all after this strange day, not even for supper. His mother told her that because of the riot, the mill had some issues and that her son was working very hard.

Saturday night came and Fanny knocked on the bedroom's door to look at Margaret's dress for the Sliskson's ball.

'Are you excited ?' She asked in her icy blue dress.

'I do not know if this is excitment or anxiety ?' She honestly answered.

Fanny looked at her sister-in-law with appreciation. Even Fanny had to aknowledge Margaret's beauty.

Once fully prepared, the two ladies came down.

John Thornton was waiting near the entree. Hearing quick steps in the stairs, he looked up and was marveled. Fanny was... elegant. Not exuberant as usual but perfectly dressed. This blue dress with ribbons, less, much less than on her others dresses and her hair, styled in a simpler way, was pretty. John saw on Fanny the touch of Margaret. Beauty does not need extravagances.

And there, beauty came. Margaret followed Fanny. Instead of icy blue dress, it was a deep blue dress with velvet belt around the waist and shoulders.

'Cotton from your mill.' Fanny whispered in the ear of her brother. His eyes quickly looked at her. She nodded. 'Your wife supports you in her way. I bet many other wifes will be jealous of this fabric.'

His breast grew, he was proud. Her hair was low and her earings were red as blood. She was perfection.

They sat in the carriage. All those dresses, John's legs found themselves under the skirt of Margaret. He felt her feet trying to find a confortable position and when she kicked him, she looked up with an apologizing face. He smirked. As always, when he did that, Margaret's heart melted.

The guests of the ball turned towards them when they entered, they were all quite astonished by Fanny but it was nothing in comparison of Margaret. Everyone agreed how this couple was the most beautiful that Milton had known.

The thin waist and larger hips of Margaret was underlined by the velour belt and the dress design. Her decoletee was teasing eyes but nothing vulgar. She would never wear anything vulgar. Her long blue velvet gloves were the exact same color.

John was eating her with his eyes from the other side of the room. He was comparing her. It was ridiculous how a goddess she was.

'Maybe I should marry a southern girl if they all are this much beauty.' One gentleman said.

Thornton did not respond but a glare from him was enough to calm the remarks from the masters. He was a jealous man. No one was allowed to talk about his wife in that way. Yes, she was beauty. But, she was spiritful and kind. She was daring and passionnate. He knew it and wanted it all. Just beauty, he has no use of that. What he wanted was the fire in her eyes.

Margaret, as her husband, was watching him from the corner of her eyes.

'He has strong arms, isn't he ?' Someone whispered at the ear of Margaret.

She turned horrified and Anne Latimer was looking at her with a hateful smile.

'Pardon ? I did not understand what you said.' Margaret answered bluntly.

'Oh yes, you did, Mrs Thornton.' Miss Latimer smiled wider and walked toward the group of men. She saw her husband smiled at her and even laughed at something she said.

Margaret watched when her husband offered her his arm at diner time to go to the table. She watched them sit next to each other and smiled. Strong arms, she said. Margaret's fire had awakaned. Obviously, before her wedding happened, she knew Miss Anne Latimer had views on her husband. And, she even thought those two were in a engagement at some point. It would have been natural when every soul of Milton thought she was meeting men at night. But, right now, she was his legal wife. All of that was in the past and still, she had to assist to that scene. How could he do such display to that woman and not even smile to her once a week ?

Tears in her eyes came that she tried to calm. The whole meal was a torture. She was in front of them. He did not even speak to Margaret once. On the contrary, he seemed he did everything he could to avoid her eyes. Margaret was terribly hurt. A gentleman on her left, she did not even recall his name, was happily speaking to her. For most of the night, he was nice enough to distract her. He was tall, even if not as tall as her husband. They danced together and she liked it. That is all she was able to remember of that night.

The party finished quite late.

Margaret climbed into the carriage, she was alone with her husband now. Fanny and Mrs Thornton already left earlier in the evening. Not a word was spoken between them on the road. What happened to the delightful sunday they had few days ago ? To be honest, John was very much containing himself. Trying to not scare her. His efforts were poor because Margaret felt instead of carefulness, coldness.

When they closed the door of their bedroom. John watched Margaret took off her gloves and put them on the table with anger.

'Did you enjoy the ball ?' He asked.

'Not as much as you did apparently.' She bitterly answered.

He was confused.

'Why did you not dance with me ?' Margaret finally asked.

'You spent your night in the arms of Sir Macdins. The only time I came, you looked like you prefered his company to mine.' He snapped back, taking off his cravat.

Sir Macdins was his name then. She did not remember at all what John just spoke about. Her jealousy was blinding her.

Margaret sat in front of the vanity and took off her pins. One by one her hair fall. He stared at her with marvel. Did she realize what she was doing ? He never saw her do that before. Watching her, in that state of intimacy, was arousing. Did she really was not aware of her looks. Her elegance and the fire inside her putting away any competition she could have. She stood up and he looked at her figure. This dress, made with his cotton, was a wonder. Her long brown hair falling on this blue royal color combined with her white skin. It looked like perfection.

'You are beautiful.' He finally said, realizing he did not even compliment her of all night. That was a very ungentleman thing to do.

'Not to your tastes I presume.' She also snapped back.

He was shocked by her anger.

'What are you saying ? I don't understand.' He came closer to her but she stepped back. Exactly as the first night together, he recalled.

Then, she turned around and faced him. Tears in her eyes, her chin up, her proudly queenly face full of courage.

'I...' She began. He could see in her the conflict and the difficulty to choose words describing her exact feelings. He had the same issue speaking to her.

'I do not know.' She said again. 'I know that I am not experienced at all in this situation.' With her hand, she showed the space between them. 'I know that others have many more qualities or offers to make to you than me.'

She went to sit on the bed, her legs not strong enough for jealousy.

'I do not wish to see that John.'

He shivered. That was the first time she called him by his name. It was a beautiful sound.

'I do not wish to see in front of me such display. If you do not want me, if you feel that others will satisfy more your happiness, I understand but in public like that... I can not accept it.'

'What the hell are you saying Margaret ?' He got suddenly angry when he realized what Margaret was implying.

He came to face her. She had to lift her face to look at him, standing in front of her, so tall.

'I am sorry you had to marry me. But you had the possibility to call if off, you did not. Why are you doing this to me now ?'

He sat next to her. Her eyes, such passion in it. He was loving it.

'Margaret, I married you because I wanted to.'

She put her eyes inside his soul, burning.

With her little fists, she grabbed his collar and put him closer to her with all her strength. Their faces almost touching, he was still taller than her. But she did not care, she was gathering herself to stand at his height.

'This Anne Latimer, do you like her ?' She asked with a dark voice.

Being held by her like this. Nothing in the world could compare the passion she had.

'No.' He answered honestly with a voice as low as hers.

'Are there any other lady or woman that have caught your attention ?' She continued to ask.

He, the master of Malborough Mill, a magistrate, a man in his thirties, being treated by this woman that way... He was loving it way too much. He had difficulty to answer because of her eyes. But, he gathered all his energy.

'None.' He swallowed.

'Good.' She concluded, putting him closer to her. 'Because I did a claim on you the day I married you. You will do well to remember it.'

There, he got it. She was jealous. For him, she was jealous. Fiercely jealous. As he was for her. His heart fluttered. To know it, it was a delight.

He looked at her eyes, her small fists on his collar, her lips, pink and full. He put a hand behind her back and another one on her hands.

'And, I am doing a claim on you now. And forever.' He answered.

He saw her eyes grew bigger. She lifted his hands to her lips and he saw her kiss both of them. His heart was beating so fast.

Slowly, he cupped her face and put her closer to him. He lowered his face and met her lips. Very slowly, he put them on hers, scared to make her disappear. Those cherry lips. So full, so good. He parted his and then pressed a little harder, again and again. She embraced him, her hands on his back, clutching on him with despair. Tenderly, he moved his other hand on her face. He felt her lips move very shyly and it was the cutest feeling ever. He opened them and dared to offer a deeper kiss. She welcomed it and did exactly as he.

After a few moment of tenderness, she felt a wet thing, his tongue. He put it against her lips and then, a bit more, in her mouth. How could it be ? Such loving feeling was certainly not good for nothing.

When he dared to put his tongue inside her mouth, he got scared that she would think him as a savage. But, then he felt her trying to respond in the same way. Her eyes closed. He let himself go and kissed her more ardently. His tongue on her tongue, his lips and her lips. He embraced her as close as he could.

Then he remembered, that was her first kiss ever. He slowed down, scared to scare her. _Please lord, do not let her vanish in my arms._ Instead of a hot and fiery passion, he was offering a slower passion, still fully present but less scary. He wanted her to want him. He needed to refrain his envies. He was a man, he could control himself now for a lifetime of passion.

So, he kissed her one last time fully and he stood up.

'There is no one else, Margaret. Good night.' He whispered before closing the door of the small bedroom.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

The next morning, Margaret rose earlier than usual. What happened last night, that tender kiss had been on her mind all night. She never thought she could feel such a fire inside her.

She sat on the huge bed, still hot by the heavy cover on her, and waited for the household to rise. Slowly, the door from the joined-bedroom opened. Before it was fully unlocked, Margaret was back under her blankets pretending to sleep. John entered without noise and took his outfit inside the wardrobe. She had no idea that every morning he was coming in while she was sleeping. Naively, she thought he was getting dressed up in his room, well the other one, since she was sleeping in his real bedroom. Not once did she hear him. She felt utterly shy about her undressed state. This state he saw every morning since they got married.

She opened an eye and saw in front of the fireplace her husband putting on his shirt. His bare back was new for her and she was captivated by it. Strong and muscled. Of course, he was fit. But, she had no idea that much.

Margaret waited for him to leave to rise and washed. Once she was ready, she went down for breakfast.

'Good morning.' He said with a smirk. _Good night_ was his last words from yesterday. _Good morning_, his first today. Margaret smiled.

'You have letters.' Mrs Thornton handed to Margaret a little packet of letters. She put them aside. For now, she wanted to eat breakfast with her husband.

She poured a cup of tea and served John under the eyes of his mother. He let his finger wandering on her hand. She shivered.

'Are you going to see the Latimers today ?' His mother asked. He looked at Margaret. No emotions were on her face but John saw her hand grabbed the bread stronger than usual. He nodded.

'You woke up early today Margaret.' Mrs Thornton observed. 'Could you give us the reason ?'

Margaret's eyes went to John. He hid behind the newspaper but she heard his gasp when she answered :

'I had trouble sleeping.'

Mrs Thornton got up and left them alone. Some household matters to deal with, apparently.

John put down the newspaper. Margaret was avoiding his glare. All she could think was his tall and sculpted back, his sweet kisses and the feeling of pleasure she felt yesterday.

'Why did you have trouble to sleep ?' He asked maliciously.

She turned to him, her fists on the table. Her eyes were shouting fire to him. For a moment, Margaret thought about her answer, then she decided to be honest. No more secrets kept from him, at any level, she promised herself. This rule, she will certainly apply it. She blushed fiercely.

'I thought, all night, of you and your kisses.'

John's mouth dropped as well as the fork he had in his hand. He looked around, no servant was there. How daring she was. Never, she never ceased to amaze him.

A moment passed, he smirked. 'I guess, for your health and your nights, I shall never kiss you again before bed.'

Margaret was watching him. He was loving it, playing with her. 'If not before bed.' She answered. 'There are other moments in the day then.'

He clenched his teeth. What a teasing conversation. He did not respond to her. John stood up and placed a kiss on her cheek. She startled first, but she quickly liked the warmth left behind.

Mr Thornton was just arriving in his office than a girl came running to him. 'Master, quickly. The mistress, she is pale as death.'

He ran to the home. 'What happened ?' He yelled. 'One minute before she was fine.' He looked around for his mother and found Margaret in the library, letters all around the floor. The maid meant his wife, not his mother. He got a cold feeling. She was worse than what the girl described. As a stone, standing in the middle of the room, shivering. He picked up a letter and read it. It was from Mr Bale: Mr Hale was dead. Two days ago. The ceremony will be conducted in the late afternoon, this day.

When he finished to read the letter, he got strike by the eyes of Margaret on him. She was begging him to take her to Oxford.

'We will take the first train today.' He nodded and ordered a servant to prepare a bag. They will spend the night there and come back tomorrow.

'You can not take Margaret' his mother said. 'It is improper.'

Funerals were not considered to be for women.

'She will come.' He answered sharply. He kissed his mother on the cheek and they left immediately for the train station.

They sat, one in front of the other.

He was worried. She did not move a single bit. No cries, no emotions out. She was as white and cold as snow.

He changed to sit next to her in the wagon. They were alone. He knew exactly how she felt. Losing a parent, so young, was a hardship of life.

'Margaret, I...' He stopped immediately. She had taken his hand without looking at him. His hand in her soft hands, the contact of their skin, it was electrifying. She caressed him. Margaret was terribly cold and his hand was hot. She needed this. Then, she moved one of them along his arm until his face. She took his shoulders and make him come closer to her. She nestled inside his arms and kissed his neck. He was burning and she was freezing. Small kisses from his neck until his mouth. He did not dare to move.

Shyly, trembling, her lips came on his lips. Was he dreaming? He thought. Margaret had closed eyes. Shy. Almost shameful. How could he think of her that way? He adored her bravery more than anything else. Then, the souvenir of last night came back to her mind and she kissed him ardently. The softness of yesterday was forgotten. Margaret wanted to feel alive. To feel something good instead of the pain she was feeling because of the loss of her father. How was it possible to feel so sad and so good at the same time?

'Margaret' he pushed her away. 'You are in distress, I can not take advantage.'

'You are not.' She began to cry. 'I want this. I want you.'

'Margaret, you lost your father, I c...'

'Please.' She begged. 'I am so cold. Let me...' Tears flowed down without stopping. 'I am alone.' She sobbed.

He took her again in his arms. 'No you are not. I am here. I am your family.'

'John. Please.' She whispered in his arms. His heart shivered. 'John, please, hold me tight. Kiss me, please.'

How could he say no to her? So he did, he kissed her salted lips, her watering eyes. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her jaw, her lips, her neck and held her as much as he could.

And, he did so until the train arrived in Oxford. The British landscapes passing by the window, this moment was a feather in time. And, yet, it felt as if they were exactly where they needed to be. In the arms of each other.

The ceremony was held in a small church, many colleagues came to pay their respects. Margaret had no idea her father was so loved here. At least, contrary to her mother's ceremony, the church was full. When she put a small bouquet on the grave, she realized her parents, who married for love, would rest for eternity into two separated cities. He heart shrank.

John was very cautious of her. She was standing still. Imperturbable face. Strong. But, he felt her hand squeezing his arm in front of the grave. She was stunning. He recalled the intimacy they shared earlier in the wagon and chills wandered on his body.

Margaret spent a long moment with Mr Bell afterwards. She held his arm and they talked of their memories with kindness.

'Is he good to you my child?' He asked pointing to John.

'Yes, he is.'

'You should have known. I would have taken care of you.'

'Mr Bell, how can I thank you for the kindness you always had toward me? Even if, you, father and my family, led into this wedding. It was my choice in the end. I accepted it. Now, I think I am happy. Mr Bell would you come to visit us at some point ?'

'Oh lord no, dear Milton can not stand to have me inside without crashing even more smoke and pieces of cotton.'

'Then, I will come to you.' She promised. Mr Bell smiled at her.

'We should go at our hotel. It is late and the day was exhausting.' John approached them.

'I agree.' Mr Bell answered. 'Good night Margaret.'

The couple headed to their hotel.

'When did you make the reservation ?' Margaret asked quite surprised.

'When you were buying flowers, I sent a boy there.'

The hotel groom showed their room. It was warm.

'One b...' she watched.

' I will sleep on the chair. Do not worry.' He cut her.

She went into the bathroom to wash.

Her mind was not on the soap she was holding but on her husband. It was cruel to let him sleep the whole night on a chair. When she put her nightgown on her, she realised how transparent it was. She quickly put another robe on it to cover herself.

She came out of the room, it was dark, John has turned off every candle. She approached him in the chair and took his hands.

'Margaret, what..'

She pulled him toward the bed. He understood what she meant. Happily, no lights, except the moonlight, were in the room. He blushed but did not let anything shown. He laid down under the cover. He felt her move in the room and took off her dressing gown. Only the thin nightgown on her skin. She laid on her side of the bed and they did not move at all.

Then, he heard her. Sobbing quietly.

It was heartbreaking. His wife crying in their bed, it was a terrible feeling.

He moved on his side and faced her back with her long hair. He forbade himself to think about the bathtub scene. He put a hand on her shoulder, she gasped under his touch. Surprised and unused of a man touch. He was so hot.

He let down his hand from her shoulder to her waist and hugged her from behind. His hand was now on her stomach. His other slipt under Magaret's pillow and caught her hand.

'I am sorry for your loss Margaret.' He whispered in her ear. 'I am here. I will protect you.'

She let herself cried out and he held her tightly.

Margaret fell asleep in this new state of awareness: orphan and fiercely protected by her husband.

* * *

When John woke up, he was still holding her tightly. His nose in her hair, intoxicated with her smell. Could heaven leave them be like that forever? Damn the mill.

He stretched a bit and rose. Once he was dressed and shaved, Margaret was slowly opening her eyes. 'We need to leave soon to catch the train.' He whispered.

Margaret blushed, she was remembering last night and felt embarrassed. John saw her red cheeks. 'I understand Margaret. What it feels like to lose a parent.' A shyly smile appeared on her face. She looked at him with grateful eyes. He loved it, this growing intimacy between them.

On the train, no moves at all neither talks. Margaret had thought that raising that early was fine but she overestimated her ability. With the train's movement, she fell half-asleep. John sat naturally next to her and when her sleeping face fell on his shoulder, an intense longing ran through his body. He let a finger touch the softness of her cheeks and tried to focus on his newspaper.

The suddenly and almost natural intimacy they shared the last few days was a revelation. Margaret knew she loved him and she was prepared to climb every step for him. But, he was restraining himself. John needed to find himself back as a man ready to accept her fully. He was glad that she was sleeping, it let him time to think.

Margaret woke up when they entered the station of Milton. Surprised to be so close to her husband.

'Mistress.' Someone came from the mill. John turned and instinctively put his shoulder in front of his wife, to protect her. No one saw this little action, except her. Her heart beat faster.

The hand ran to them. 'You must hurry. Bessy Higgins...'

He did not have time to finish, Margaret was already walking with grand steps towards Princeton.

When she arrived there, she found her friend laying in bed, heavy breaths and lost eyes. She took her hand and sat next to her.

'Bessy, I am here.'

A painful smile stretched with difficulty on the face of her dying friend.

'I put the dress you gave me Maggie'

'Oh Bessy...' she sobbed, caressing her forehead with tender.

A few moments passed and the girl closed her eyes for good.

* * *

Margaret stayed a long while at Princeton, when she left for home, night has come. The household was asleep. A plate with food was waiting for her but she was too hurt to be able to swallow anything. She went to her bedroom to change. Once in her bed, Margaret stood up. She could not find sleep, she was cold and she felt awfully alone. John was certainly in the joined bedroom. She tried to not think about him and the previous night they shared. She laid down and finally fell asleep.

At some point in the middle of night, John woke up, he looked at the clock, it was not time yet for him to go to the mill. A cold sensation on his feet bothered him. He took off the blanket and tapped with his hand on the cold area. He grabbed something and turned swiftly to the other side of the bed. Margaret was there, next to him. In his hand, her ankle.

'What...'

She was really cold. He stood up, turned around the bed and tossed aside the sheets. She startled to his sudden quick moves. His dark eyes on her, watching her body. She turned her face away, shy by her actions. Then, she decided to be brave and looked him in the eyes. He was breathing heavily. Once he finished looking at her body through the thin nightgown. He put his arms around her and lifted her to carry her to the main bedroom. She sighed. So, he does not want her in his bed, she thought with disappointment.

'Pleas..' She tried to explain. John was almost naked, only his trousers still on. He had been worried all evening but he knew, she needed time for herself. So, he had fallen asleep quickly, without changing. He went to the fireplace under the big blue eyes of his wife. He put in more woods for warmth. Then, he turned on the other side of the bed and climbed into it. Margaret shook.

He put the covers back on both of them, making sure she was protected from coldness.

Once both of them were under the sheets, he turned to face her. She did the same. Face to face, he looked at her for a while. He rose again and closed the curtains of the canopy bed. They were alone, protected from the outside world. He took her his arms and hugged her as tightly as the night before. His leg between her legs, tangled. He put his feet on hers, sharing the heat. One of his hands on her hair, the other on her back, holding her with strength. Margaret was mesmerized, her face was stuck on his bare chest. She could hear his heart beating.

John did not reflect on his actions. Having his wife in his bed was a new state of intimacy that drove him wild. Holding her close to his body was a dream come true. Suddenly, he felt a new sensation: a light kiss on his chest. Did she know what she was doing to him? The strength he needed to not make love to her, right now. He would just have to slightly put her nightgown up and her body would be his. He looked down and dived into Margaret's eyes. Slowly, he cupped her face with love and put his lips around her upper lip. He stayed like this for a long moment. Margaret did not dare to move, afraid to pierce their bubble. She was so hot now and fascinated by his face. He seemed in conflict with something. His closed eyes and furious brows were all what Margaret could distinguish in the dark. She had her hands on his bare back, holding him as tight as he was holding her. Then, he moved back. His hand still on her hair, he slowly moved to her side. 'I have to kiss you, will you let me?' He whispered to her ear.

She gasped. Some many new feelings rose inside her. She swallowed. Yes, she would let him kiss her. She would let him do whatever he wanted to. It just needed to be this man. She shivered. This intimacy was overwhelming. He was waiting for her answer, trying hard to not be harsh. Margaret realized her bestial thoughts. She hid her face in his chest with shyness. She breathed, then she lifted her face to him. With her eyes, she gave him permission. She dared him to kiss her. His eyes grew darker with pleasure, he tightened his grip and caught her full lips. Slowly, he kissed them, then his tongue caressed the corner of her mouth. Margaret tried to imitate him and he moaned with pleasure. His hand fell from her hair to her cheek, holding her face. 'Margaret.' He whispered. 'Give me your mouth. Give me... your tongue.' Such daring words, she never thought she would hear that. But from him, it was creating a new feeling inside her body. She wanted to be like him. To be able to speak about her needs and wants. It was not easy, she has always been taught to never let herself into such low behaviour. But, now, she did not care for anything except him. Therefore, she took a big breath and spoke her heart out. 'It is already yours'.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Chapter 9 _**

As usual, even before birds, John woke up. Once his eyes opened, he saw hairs dancing in front of him like a burning fire. He was still holding strongly Margaret against his chest. Her sleeping breath was calm. He kissed her forehead and slowly escaped from their embrace. It felt weird. Without her warm body against him, he felt alone. Her hands in his back. Her legs with his legs. He felt cold, inside and outside.

After breakfast, he headed to the mill. Letters were waiting for him on his desk. The majority for business, and one, to his surprise, from the navy.

He sat down and rubbed his face with his huge hand. He forgot he wrote, a few weeks ago, to his acquaintances in the navy, about a certain Mr Frederik Hale.

John Thornton looked at the letter on his desk. He remembered when he wrote it. Especially, how he felt. Scared was the right word. His mind had been sure that one day she would escape. She would run away from him. She was forced into a wedding, after all, a new life without friends nor family. He had been terrified she would leave him for someone else.

But, here she was, with him, inside his arms at night. Coming in his bed to seek warmth and comfort. Now, after what they shared those last few days, if she would leave him, he would not bear it. He would do anything for her to stay by his side until the end. Especially now that he knows the taste of her lips, the smell of her body, her savage look with her hair down, the design of her nightgown. He will never let her go. He sighed heavily and when a ray of sun came on his face, he got up and threw the letter inside the chimney. 'Let it burn.'

By this action, he made a decision, no more fears. He will go down in this married life fully, without any more foolish restraints.

When Margaret opened her eyes, it was already late in the morning. She blushed after thinking about last night, the way she fell asleep in his arms. How he carried her and embraced her. She thought about his lips locking up her upper lip and the whispers to her ear. She blushed and forced herself to get dressed, with respectable thoughts.

When she came down, only Fanny was there.

'Margaret, I am glad to see you.' She said sipping her tea.

Margaret smiled. It's not as if Fanny was seeing her almost every morning.

'I need you to ask John and Mama to let us go to London.' Fanny exclaimed calmly.

'Excuse-me ?'

'I need a new dress, made by this artist.' Fanny showed to Margaret a magazine for women. 'This new style is everywhere in London. I would like to go there and order it from this artist.'

'I am not sure your brother...'

'Damn, my brother.' Fanny said. 'He is always so stern. Don't you think Maggie ?'

The young lady thought about him and his strong hands on her body. His tough back and his smirk when he teased her. He was certainly not stern with her.

'I guess I could go ask him to go there for a day. And come back. We could eat with my family.'

'Oh my...' Fanny exclaimed. 'It would be wonderful. If we leave now, we can be in London before lunch and come back tonight before dinner. Go, Margaret. Go ask my brother.'

Margaret sighed. She felt trapped. She complied with Fanny and went to the mill. She found her husband inspecting the machinery.

She was amazed, he was not having his jacket on and even his cravat was in his trousers' pocket. His shirt was up to his elbows. He looked dashing. She caught glares of some women, fully in age to know a man's body. Her inner fire came back to life and she maintained eyes' contact with them until they turned away from her husband.

John stopped when he saw Margaret entered the room. The hands around did the same, quite surprised to see the mistress there. She spotted in a corner Nicholas who smiled at her.

'What are you doing here ?' John asked louder than machines.

'I came to see you.' She yelled. He took her arm and led her to his office.

'The noise.' He explained pointing a finger to his ear.

'I saw Nicholas.' Margaret said, looking at him with bright eyes.

'Nicholas ?' He repeated, fully aware of who she meant but fiercely jealous to hear another man forename in her mouth. 'Higgins. Yes, I took him.'

'Thank you.' She said.

'I did not do it for you. He works well.'

He felt suddenly guilty about his harshness. Especially when in truth, he accepted to give this man a chance because of her. But, he could not let her know that yet. If she knew she had that much power on him. Would she crush his heart? Margaret pretended to not have noticed his sudden tough ton.

'I see.' She simply said.

'Why are you here ?'

Margaret swallowed.

'Fanny.' She answered. 'She wants to go to London today, her and I, to purchase some dresses. I told her that I will ask your permission first.'

John looked at her. He put his fist under his chin.

'Margaret, do you really need my permission for anything ?'

'What do you mean ?'

'You are free, to go and do whatever you want to. I will never _forbid_ you anything.'

She narrowed her eyes.

'Do you doubt it ?' He asked again.

'I do not know to be honest. It feels too beautiful to be true.' She bluntly said.

'I want our marriage to be one wanted and one free. If you want to go to London with Fanny. Go.'

'Alright.' She answered quite astonished.

'But, without commanding you.' He smirked with malicious eyes. 'Come back tonight.' He said.

She smiled once she had her back turned to him.

The two ladies left Marlborough Mills under the eyes of Mrs THornton and with the smile of Fanny as bright as the sun.

'If I had known he would be so agreeable marrying you, I would have approved your marriage.' Fanny said once they were in the wagon.

Margaret laughed heartily.

'If you had given your approval, it would have been fishy and it's me who would have not complied with this wedding.' Margaret answered with mischief.

* * *

When the two ladies arrived on the main street in London, the boutique was full. Apparently, Fanny was right. This artist was trending.

'Oh my...' Fanny yelled. 'Margaret, have you seen those fabrics before? They are magnificent. Such a vivid colour. Oh my...and this one...'

Margaret had to admit that everywhere she laid her eyes on, it was colourful and bright. More, way more, than in Milton.

'Ladies.' An employee came to salute them. 'May I help you? We have the new collection that arrived yesterday. Maybe you would wish to take a look.'

The girl did not have the time to finish her sentence, Fanny was already ready to be served tea, order dresses and look at this famous new collection.

'I like this design.' Fanny exclaimed when the third dress was presented to them. 'What do you think?'

'I like it too.'

The employee showed them a model and then, Fanny went first to try and to have her measures taken.

'It is perfect.' Margaret heard her say.

The boutique's manager came to Margaret who was waiting sipping her tea.

'Excuse-me my lady. I am Alfred Doulast, I noticed since the moment you entered my shop the quality of your dress. May I ask who ..?'

Margaret was surprised by such an approach. It is not proper for a man to follow a young lady figure and even worst to come to her about that.

'I beg your pardon, sir.' She said putting the cup of tea on the table.

The manager startled. 'I am deeply sorry, my lady. I was wondering about which shop did you buy your dress and the fabric ?'

Margaret watched him perplexed, then she realized what a wonderful opportunity she had in front of her eyes. She stood up to show her dress. 'The design was made by a Milton artist but the fabric come from a mill in Milton, Malborough Mills. I am sure you must have heard of it. It is one of the biggest cotton factories in the North. You, who works in this field, must know how hard one must work and make himself a life. Therefore, I will tell you, the man at the head of the factory, made himself from nothing, only about hard work and values.'

'This is indeed a quality that I value much. The textile industry is harsh.' The manager acknowledged. 'But cotton...'

Margaret knew it was coming. Cotton was not as trendy as other fabrics. But she had the firm intention to do whatever is in her power to help Mills.

'Oh please.' She said with a ton she did not know she had in her. 'You must know cotton is so much better for the skin and much more comfortable. In winter, it keeps hot and in summer, it is less sticky. Especially the men's shirts. Do you not know ?'

The manager smiled. 'Would you like a dress from our boutique made with the cotton from this mill, Malborough Mills? '

'Is it possible? I would like that very much.'

Margaret ordered then a dress, more than happy to know than in a few weeks, she will wear it.

'Should we go have lunch ?' Fanny asked.

The two ladies arrived at Harley Street and Edith was most surprised with their visit. Naturally, Fanny and Edith had much in common. Margaret did not have to speak a lot, the two ladies were perfectly fine on their own.

When Fanny went to rest a bit before they had to leave to catch the next train to Milton, Edith went to Margaret. 'Tell me Maggie. How is that new husband of yours?'

'What do you mean?' Margaret asked, surprised with the question.

'Does he hurt you?'

'Edith !' Margaret exclaimed. 'No, of course not.'

'That's a relief. I was scared at the wedding. He seemed so dark. I guess I was wrong. And,... your first night together, was it okay? I am sure you must have been very shaken.'

Margaret opened widely her eyes, Edith never talked to her about that subject before.

'I wish someone would have informed me.' Margaret just answered. Nothing happened between John and her, she could not admit it to anyone. But it was true, she wished, Edith or Aunt Shaw would have educated her at least a bit.

'I could not.' Fanny confessed with a sad voice. 'It is utterly improper to speak about that. But, tell me at least that you are happy, Maggie.'

'I think I am, yes.'

Edit hugged Margaret.

'He is a good man.' Margaret continued. 'He is honest and hard-working. He never mistreated me neither did he lie to me. I think I am lucky. He is gentle and respectful with me...'

'But ?'

'Well, he is a northern gentleman, so he has a temper. But, never, it was turned on me.'

'Margaret, do you love him?'

'Is it wrong?'

Edith smiled and hugged her tighter.

* * *

The night came sooner than expected. Margaret and Fanny came back from London as scheduled, just for dinner. Fanny could not stop to tell the wonderful dresses she ordered from the stylist.

'What about you ?' John asked, looking at Margaret.

'If you knew...' Fanny began with a theatrical face. 'It will be magnificent. But for now, we will not tell you more. Right, Maggie ?'

Margaret smiled and nodded.

'What was the letter from the navy about, John ?' Mrs Thornton asked suddenly.

Margaret dropped her fork and looked at him with big eyes. Mrs Thornton looked at her, a curious look on her face. Margaret coughed and tried to appear indifferent.

'It's nothing. Just an old acquaintance.' He answered without wanting to tell much. Mrs Thornton's eyes narrowed but she did not ask for more. When the meal finished, Margaret joined John to the study room where they could finally be alone. A book on his legs, he stopped. 'I know what you want to ask.' He said. 'I have no idea what the letter contained, I burnt it.'

Margaret shook her head, tears began to rise. 'I...I do not understand.'

He stood up to face the window. Outside, the small garden behind the mansion was barely visible. He put his hands in his pockets. 'When you told me about... Frederik Hale...'

'My brother.' She cut him.

John swallowed. Her brother.

'I was in a poor state of mind. I wrote to an acquaintance to know more about him.'

'To confirm, you mean.' Her voice trembled.

He did not answer.

'You did not trust me.' She whispered. A feeling of betrayal came to her. All this intimacy they shared suddenly felt oddly wrong.

'It is not you, I did not trust. It is me.'

Margaret looked up, only his back was facing her. This tall and strong back, she thought. This back always straight and sure of everything, confident and smart. What was happening?

'Again, I do not understand.'

'I...I needed to be sure.'

'Of what ?'

'That I could let me go into this wedding without fear.'

'What fear could you have from my brother ?'

'That he is not really your brother. That you could leave.'

'But why ?' She struggled. 'You offered me the possibility to leave twice and each time, I refused. I accepted this marriage.'

'Margaret...' He said. 'I think you do not understand how I felt when I saw you that night in the arms of a man that was not me, and, then, when I learned you lied to the police for this man.'

'My brother.' She corrected once more.

'Your...brother.'

'How you felt...' she repeated. He sighed and closed his eyes. 'You burnt it because...'

Why was it so difficult? Surely because those last months, he fought with himself between seeing her at night with a stranger and his image of her being perfection, those months have been a living hell. Him, that has never been in love before. Him, who would never have thoughts about marriage before her. Him, who wanted her in his bed more than he could admit for sanity.

He felt lost for a moment. He knew what he did was wrong but he did it anyway. Will she forgive him?

John felt warmth on his back. Two arms crossed on his stomach. Margaret was hugging him from behind. What a strange feeling? No one ever did this. He was utterly shocked by the situation.

'I am sorry.' He heard her say with a small voice.

He took her hands into his and caressed her arms.

'I burnt it.' His voice was shaking. 'Because I decided that you are my wife and I do not need to confirm anything you will ever tell me, now and in the future. I trust you fully.'

Margaret held him stronger, her fingers and his fingers lost with each other. Then, she did something quite amazing for her. One of her hand split inside his shirt and went up to his neck slowly, taking off his buttons at the same time.

'Margaret, you can not do this.' He said with a deep voice.

'I am so sorry John.' She repeated from behind him. 'Not once, I wanted to hurt you.'

She caressed his torso with light fingers.

'If you knew how much this situation had been awful for me. To know that you despised me. For you, I was a fallen woman. I was torn between my brother and you. I never thought your opinion of me mattered so much. But, you as a magistrate, I could not tell you, and risk his life and your career.'

He took her hands and stopped them from moving. What she was saying was important for John. She cared for him. About his opinion. It meant more than she knew.

He turned to face her. His shirt was open until his belly button. His strong and muscled torso. With the candlelight, Margaret could see better his body that the previous nights. She could not believe that he was her husband. She did not dare to move. He was watching her with piercing eyes. As if his soul was ready to catch hers. His dark blue eyes were watching her breast breath heavily. Then, he put both large hands on her waist, holding her strongly. She felt the pressure with which he was holding her. She loved it. He was still watching her. His hands went up slightly just under her breast. He could feel her moving breast under his palms. His thumbs brushed the fabric, just where her nipples were. She blushed furiously. How could a man make her feel that way? He repeated the same action, very slowly.

'I...' Margaret tried to speak. But, she was completely unable to. Drunk with the atmosphere.

'I agree. We should go upstairs.' He whispered with intensity.

He knew that if they stayed like this a bit longer, he would do something uncontrolled.

She was shy. For him to have touched her breast that way. Magaret felt pleasure for this man's touch. His eyes, he wanted her, it made her wonder about her own sanity. She went upstairs first and a servant helped her with the dress. She dismissed the girl quickly. 'I will do my hair, thank you Prissy.'

A few minutes later, John was entering slowly. His face was dark. He looked at her. She was in her nightgown, the same thin one she was wearing yesterday. This nightgown was a gift from the devil himself. With the candlelight, he could see all her body. She was delicious. She was brushing her hair. Trying to have a bit of composure.

When she saw him, in front of the door, in his shirt, half-opened and his arms half bare. He looked magnificent. His eyes were on her, looking at her with...What was it? Hunger? Restraint? She shivered. Why was it so hot in this room?

He did not move. Stuck in front in the door, his hands in his pockets, he did not _dare_ to move. If he was not going to come to her, she will go to him. So, Margaret stood up and crossed the distance separating them. His eyes followed her, walking to him. Her nightgown was not covering much. He watched her take his hand and pressed her lips against his skin. Could she be more than perfect? He doubted it.

'Are you okay ?' He asked.

She nodded.

'I am sorry for earlier.' He said. 'I went too far.'

He was apologizing for his behaviour.

He knew she must have been quite shy and shocked, no one never touched her that way.

'No, please.' She tried to reassure him. 'It is me who...began.' It was hard for her to acknowledge it. But she wanted to touch him, as he wanted her.

'Margaret, between a wife and a husband...' It was difficult to say. He went to sit in front of her vanity. In the exact same spot where she was brushing her hair when he came in. He put his face in his hand, thinking intensely to how to phrase his mind.

'I know nothing.' She cut him, red with shyness, her eyes on the floor. 'I know nothing, no one never educated me on this subject.'

He was watching her with perplexed and dark eyes. She had no idea what he was thinking. He must think her ridicule, not knowing what is expected at the wedding night. Instead, he said: 'I am sorry. I should have guessed.'

_Of course_, he thought, _without her mother_. Her family in London being too..._ London_, many things must be new for her.

He handed his hand to her. 'Come.' He whispered. She took it and he led her on his laps. She felt weird being sit like that on him. 'Do I hurt you ?' She asked. He nodded. 'And I ?' He repeated. She smiled back. 'No', she whispered.

_Will the chair be strong enough for both of them on it?_ Was the only thought Margaret was able to construct.

He put her arms around his neck, as once they were. They both remembered the riot and hot air flew between them. He put his arm around her waist and his other rested on her lap. She did not move at all. All this touching was very new, especially under the neck. When he kissed her the previous nights, it was always restricted to her face and shoulders.

'Can I?' He asked. His eyes were begging her to let him do. And she gave permission to. He caressed her arms, she got chills everywhere. He put one hand back around her waist and the other on her stomach. She turned her face to him. His dark eyes were eating her. She watched his eyes going from her face to her breast and her laps. He kissed her cheek and her forehead. He caressed her belly.

She did something unexpected, she took his face and put a slight kiss on his lips then brought his face to her neck. He gasped on her skin and held her tighter. With a controlled intensity, he kissed her neck. Finally, he lost all composure, and slightly, put his lips at the beginning of her cleavage. Breathing heavily. Then, he stood back and watched her. 'I am not a gentleman Margaret.' He saw her startled. 'Well...not in this way.' His eyes full of pleasure. He wanted her.

'I married you for who you are as a man.' She answered. He got full of emotions. That was what he always wanted. To be considered as a man for her. To him, a man was superior to any gentleman. A man had to be a gentleman, had values, fierce beliefs, and bravery, no matter the social class.

She took his face and very slowly, put it back where it was, on her breast. He kissed her with the tip of his lips. Then he went down, where her cleavage was more intense. His mouth went bigger and deeper. When he understood that she was his, he sucked her skin with passion. He cupped her breasts and massaged them through the thin fabric of her nightgown.

With his other hand, he grabbed her ankle and caressed her leg up and up. Until he reached the hem of her nightgown, His hand caressed the hem. Pondering what he should do. Finally deciding, he slipt his hand under the fabric and continued to go up on her thigh. She gasped feeling him. She was still sitting on his lap and something was hard next to her. She put her hand on it and this time, he gasped.

'Oh Margaret...'

'I am sorry.'

'Do not be. Never be sorry with me.' He whispered. With his hand, he put her legs apart, enough for his hand to rest on the most intimate part of her body.

'Joh...' She gasped and he held her tighter to him.

'Yes, Margaret ?' He answered with a smirk in her ear.

'I...Well...How..' She had no idea how to express her feelings.

He let out a small laugh. He kissed her neck and moved his hand between her legs. She gasped and caught his shoulders. 'Here'. He said putting his finger at her entrance. 'This is where we will make love.' He was watching her big blue eyes. She was shocked and red but she was letting him touch her completely. He felt strongly aroused by her bravery. He moved a finger and she gasped once more, her eyes still in his. He smirked even more. He moved again his finger.

'Han.' She said, then she put her hand on her mouth to cover her face with shame.

He took her hand back to his shoulder. 'No.' He commanded. 'No. Margaret, I want you to be free to do and feel everything you want with me. I will never judge you. Do you understand ?'

She took some time to think and nodded. So, he began to touch her again. And, she began to move without control. His hand on her waist was holding her closer to him and with her moving, she was stroking his manhood.

He continued to move his fingers, more and more, she was so sensitive. Being touched for the first time, her fluid coming out of her was so exciting for him. Then, unexpectedly, he got an orgasm.

She felt the liquid on her side. 'John, what was it?' She asked perplexed.

He breathed heavily. He did not expect to be aroused so much, so quickly. But, she was everything he always wanted. 'Do you remember once, you told me you had no idea how to please a man ?'

This atrocious first night as husband and wife. 'I do.'

He smiled and kissed her cheek.

'Well.' He got red by what he was going to say. 'To have you in my arms, to touch and kiss you...hum...I love it very much.'

He took her in his arms and lifted her to put her to bed.

'Truly ?' She asked while he was laying her down. He nodded.

She went under the blankets, still quite shy of what happened between them. Meanwhile, he was in the bathroom, cleaning and taking off his shirt.

When he went back to bed, after closing the curtains of the canopy bed, as he did last night, he did not dare to look at her.

'What is it ?' Margaret worried.

He was staring at the ceiling.

'I am afraid you might be shocked by our sudden intimacy.' He finally confessed.

Margaret did not really know how to reply but tried to express herself with honesty.

'I am. All this is new and very far from what I was expecting. Actually, I expected nothing much but pain and duty. When actually...'

He turned to face her.

'When actually, you ?'

'When actually I enjoy every moment with you.' She said.

_No more secrets_, she recalls.

'Will you accept me, Margaret?'

What he meant, she had no idea. She looked at him with perplexed eyes.

'Will you accept me as your husband fully, I mean ?'

He was asking her again. Because he wanted to be sure. To be reassured.

She had no idea the control he had on himself.

'I already have.' She answered. Yes, she was in love with him and she wanted to be touch by him, only.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chapter 10_**

**_Very 'M'. *Shyness*_**

**_You should read the previous chapter. It follows directly. _**

**_Have beautiful holidays._**

* * *

'I already have.' She swallowed.

John was watching her with tensed eyes.

'I already have accepted you as my husband.' Margaret repeated. 'I married you. I chose to be here.'

'Did you mean that?' He asked. Having an inside struggle between his longing, his needs and his insecurities.

'I have accepted you as my husband the day you offered me to cancel our engagement.'

'Ex...explain to me, please.'

She did not know how to answer well, the choice of her words had always brought her trouble with him.

'Only a true man would offer that without caring about his reputation.'

'A true man.' He repeated, reflecting hard about her words.

Margaret had difficulty to breathe. Was it the tension or the revelation of her feelings? She laid her eyes on his trousers, black and tight enough to see his muscular legs.

'Can you repeat it, please?' He said, forcing her to watch him. John needed to be sure. He was controlling his passion for so long. The simple idea to let it flow like a fish in the river. Free to be and free to feel, he wanted that more than anything. Could it be real? Her hair was curling with the warmth of the room. She had pink cheeks and curvy lips. All he has ever wanted was right in front of him. And every time he dared to touch her, it was like if he was entering his dreams with flesh and bones. The feeling was raw and marvellous.

'I have accepted you as my husband a long time ago.'

She wanted to be sure he understands her heart.

And, he did. With slow movements, his arms came around her and embraced her firmly, stroking her hair. She could smell his scent travelling in all part of her body. She shivered. Then, he placed his lips on her neck. Little sweet kisses going from her ear to her shoulder and back to her ear. He caressed her back. His body created such a presence, Margaret felt immersed by him.

His hands took her waist and pulled her closer to him. His legs and hers completely tangled.

He stopped. It was too quick. He needed to be careful. To not let himself go insane into such passion.

He went down off the bed and stood up next to it.

'Margaret...'. He breathed heavily. 'I want you.'

She looked into his eyes, filled with a savage intensity. A northern man. When he said he wanted to love her as a man, Margaret understood she was just seeing the beginning of the meaning.

'But...' He added with a low voice. 'I will never touch you without your consent.'

Margaret was listening but she was transcended by his voice, his torso and his eyes. His strong arms on the bed, as an animal. She was his prey.

'I give it.' She whispered. He closed his eyes fiercely.

'I want full consent.' He whispered back as if it was more for himself than for her.

Margaret put her legs under her and sat in the middle of the bed. Facing him. She wondered: what did he want? She wondered how to make him understand that she was ready to try. She wanted to please him. She wanted him to continue to look at her with such hunger. She closed her fists on her laps. Then, her hands went very slowly on her lips, caressing the path he had once kissed. Up to her ear and then to her neck until her shoulder. He looked at her with a strange face. Did she realize what she was doing to him? Such vision in front of him. His wife caressing herself exactly where he kissed her. He closed his fists.

Margaret flushed, she never touched herself like that. All those barriers she was fighting to behave that way for him. Did he know? She questioned him with her eyes. Yes, he knew and he was even more aroused by that. His eyes were mesmerizing.

Then, she moved her fingers to her cleavage, just before the hem of her nightgown.

'Stop.' He said with a hoarse voice. 'Do not move.'

He closed his eyes once again.

After a while, he opened them again.

He took off his trousers and undergarments. Margaret had not moved at all. She looked at him as if a new world, a forbidden world, was being offered to her. So, that was a man's body. When he said full consent, he wanted her to understand the interaction that will happen between them. She stood up on her knees, on the bed, and moved forward to him.

Just before their bodies touch, Margaret stopped and stood there, at the edge of the bed, watching him for a while. Suddenly, all this touching felt wrong, and right. So confusing. Maybe, because, she realized she wanted it. In front of her, her husband, naked for the first time, was offering himself to her. And she wanted that. She knew that legally she was belonging to him. But in this situation, she realized that he was, therefore, belonging to her. She moved forward again. Because she was on the bed, she was able to be at his height, which she was thankful for. She put a finger on his knee, then ran it on his thigh, she felt his body getting chills. She looked at his eyes, they were fixed on her face. Intensely curious to watch her discovering him. He was very strong. She knew he was tall. Taller than most men she encountered. She guessed he was fit. She had no idea he was as in paintings of greek and roman characters. Was his body a living architecture?

'Is it allowed?' She murmured. Is it allowed to be that beautiful? She finished the question in her head, too shy to express fully her desire.

He did not answer. Margaret decided to be bold. Because it was her nature. She will force herself to always be honest and brave. With him, she will be bold. She moved her finger between his legs. Margaret touched him as a forbidden fruit. She took him in her hand. Round and big. Soft. It moved and she stopped to at the same time. John was watching her still, fascinated by this woman that knew nothing of a man's body. Completely drunk with the moment. Was it normal to love it that much? When she dared to touch him, he sighed. The Margaret he wanted was there. He was thankful to the Lord for that. They could be happy. They could share something good if they try. And that is what she was doing, she was trying. He thought that even if she would never love him, at least, they could find happiness. Even if, he wanted more, so much more, they could share that. He did not want to possess her, that was true, he wanted to be possessed by her. But those desires were deeply buried in his heart. For now, they will try to be happy together, and that was already enough.

'How?' She tried to speak. She was unable to. Such passion running to her, such questions. She felt overwhelmed by everything. 'How is it so hot?' She finally whispered without thinking.

With one arm, he opened the curtain of the canopy bed. Fresh air stroke her. She breathed.

'How can this, and me?' She dared to begin but too shy or too uneducated to be able to speak properly. She stopped touching him and stood up without moving, facing him, eyes full of questions.

'May I?' He asked, pointing with his eyes her gown. She nodded.

He slowly opened her nightgown until her breast was seen. She gasped but did not move. How beautiful she was! He had pictured it. Seeing it was a different feeling. He went on the bed, both of them on their knees. He took the hem of her nightgown and put it up to her waist. She shivered, but he did not care.

'I want to see you. Margaret, you are beautiful. You are more than that.'

He watched her whole body. It was finally his. After all this longing. Years of wanting her. Of dreaming of her. Did she have the smallest idea of how much he wanted her every time he was going in her father's home of the lessons? All he wanted back then was for them to be alone, to share a moment. For her to serve tea and for him to be brave enough to court her. Every time he saw her, he wanted to take her.

His hand went on her sex. She gasped once again.

'John !'

His name in her mouth, like a kiss to his ears. Damn _the Mr Thorntons_, now it is_ John._ This intimacy, a delicious and teasing candy.

'Yes ?' He smirked with dark eyes as if the devil himself was in front of her.

'I do not know how to...' She swallowed. 'I do not know how to behave.'

He put his finger into her while kissing her cheek. She was wet. 'This is with your wetness and mine that we will make love.' He said. He caught her hand and forced her to touch herself, where her wetness appeared. She blushed. He caressed her slightly. Her eyes grew bigger. He took her shoulders and put her on his knees. He caressed her breast. Hard and pointing to him. She watched him do so. Butterflies in her belly and between her legs. Why was it so good?

'Margaret, if we share a bed as man and wife, I must say that there will be pain. The first time, maybe the next one too. Maybe. Not after. I want you to tell me that you understand what I am saying. I want you to tell me now if I must stop.'

Margaret looked at him and she nodded. She understood. She did not answer but she sat a bit higher on his knees, close to his member. He took her waist and make her move against him, back and forth, slowly. He kissed her passionately. He was holding her strongly and Margaret felt almost possessed by him. After some time of caressing and touching, his member made his way to her entrance. She stopped moving. He looked into her eyes. _Are you alright ?_ was what they meant. She nodded. He moved a bit more and entered her a bit. It felt insane for him. To have in his arms, Margaret, the only woman he loved and proposed. This tigress full of passion. Her tight body around him, it felt utterly good. He moved a bit more and her hands caught his shoulders. Her nails entered his skin with so much intensity that he stopped moving. He was halfway into her. He knew that the first time for women was tough. That is what men at dinner's parties were sometimes talking about. They used to say that they should just do their duty and not get preoccupied with it. But, he was not that kind of man. He was clever. And more than anything, he knew that if from the beginning and their first night together, he was losing her trust, he would never have it back. And that, he could never forgive himself. To not have been able to control his longing for her. To hurt her was already too painful. So, after a moment of reflexion, he pulled out. There was a very small blood mark on his member. He cleaned it quickly.

'John ?' She said, sweating.

'No.' He answered 'No Margaret, do not stress yourself. We have a lifetime as a married couple to make love. Let's do it as we want to. Let's take our time. I want to.'

She watched him with a disappointed face. She felt like she did not fulfil her duty and that was unacceptable for her.

'I heard that the husband must be satisfied. Then, it means the wife did her duty.' She said with a low voice.

He groaned. 'I do certainly not care about what THEY say, for god's sake.' He got angry. 'No one will ever have the right to say anything about what happened in my bedroom, with my wife.'

Margaret stood still, she was shocked by his words. His swearing was not new to her. She already heard him swear in his mill and with his employees. But like that, in their bed, to defend her. It was arousing. She felt utterly attracted by him. But, mostly, she was ashamed to find him so attractive.

He laid down and put her in his arms. He caressed her hair. 'Since when did you care about Society?'

She giggled. 'I recall that is because of society I am in your bed, Mr Thornton.'

He raised a brow. 'We got engaged first because of rumours.' She added.

'Damn it, does it mean I owe something to Society?' He jumped.

Margaret laughed. 'Let's say that maybe it went quicker with its help. Even if, maybe, some courtship could have been nice.'

John looked down at her. Of course. She did not have the courtship she deserved. He was in such a state of anger and disappointment at that time. He has been blinded and flooded by his insecurities. 'Do you miss it?' He asked.

'You offered me a ring. And, the possibilities, twice, to leave. I felt, given our relationship, it was more than I could have expected.'

He took her hand and kissed the rings.

'But ?'

'But, maybe, some moments to talk and discover ourselves would have been appreciated.'

He felt disappointed by himself.

'I am sorry.' He said.

'Don't be. As you said, we have a lifetime of courtship and intimacy to have.'

He kissed her forehead.

'I intend to do so.'


	11. Chapter 11

**_Chapter 11_**

When the morning came, Margaret was alone. John was long gone to the mill. She found next to her hand a handkerchief, yellow and orange with a smell of spring. She got dressed in a hurry, and without taking her breakfast, went directly to the mill. She entered the office of her husband without knocking.

'What...?' But before John could finish his sentence, he saw his Margaret walking with big steps toward him in a dishevelled state which made his heart jumped out his chest. Memories of last night. Curls resting on his skin.

_Focus_, is what his mind said.

To his utter surprise, she came to sit on his laps and put her arms around his neck. She whispered in his ear 'Thank you' and he was let astonished. She kissed his lips with tenderness and then, a bit more fiercely. Trying to please him. Her shyness always presents. John loved it, the ways she was going over all the rules she had in her mind.

'If it is courting,' He smirked. 'I like it very much.'

'You know very well why I thank you.' She whispered again. 'I hope you will keep up the good intentions in the future.'

'Well, if this is my reward, I certainly intend to continue so. At a higher pace.'

Margaret flushed. He was a tease.

She got up from his laps but he stopped her immediately.

'What are you doing?' She said.

'I am giving you a reward for my reward.' His dark blue eyes were playful.

Margaret suddenly realized their position and her shyness got the best of her bravery. John saw it in her eyes.

'It is early, no one is here and just a moment before, it did not stop you to come to sit on me.'

Margaret could not respond. He was right. She had a moment of intense passion when she saw the handkerchief. It was the colours of the roses from Helstone. The smell reminded her of her mother. This gift was a gift of tenderness.

'When did you buy it?'

John thought about it, he put her back on his laps and smiled when the red appeared on her cheeks.

'A while ago. I wanted to give it to you. I never found the right moment. This morning when I woke up next to you, it seemed perfect.'

She smiled. 'It is perfect. Thank you very much.'

Then, she smiled even more and John could not contain his curiosity. He questioned her with his eyes.

'I had no idea Mr John Thornton was talkative and romantic.' She said without daring to lift up her face.

'Do not tell the men. They would want me to buy them handkerchiefs too. They would fall in love with me and I would go bankrupts.'

Margaret laughed heartily. She was always surprised when she was hearing him making jokes. It was so far from the idea she had of him, _for such a long time_.

He caught her waist just like last night. Her small waist in his giant hands. She felt protected. She felt wanted.

His breath began to be different. Rough. How did the atmosphere change so quickly?

'Margaret...' He said in a husky voice.

She looked up to meet his eyes. He was watching her. All of her. He wanted her, so much. She trembled.

His thumbs moved exactly like yesterday night. Margaret was sitting straight, locked in his hands. His thumbs continued to make rounds on her breast, he felt her breathing changing and his longing arose. He could feel under the dress her breast pointing to him.

It took him all his power to put his mind straight.

'Margaret...' He repeated with a voice made for secrets. 'One day... I will take you here, on this table and make love to you until you scream with pleasure. But... now, I think you should go.'

'Yes.' She answered.

Margaret stood up quickly and left. She almost ran into the stairs and in the mansion. She sat at the table to eat her breakfast. Fortunately, she was alone. She had the words of her husband on her mind. _Scream with pleasure_. She would never dare to behave like that. She flushed. She had no idea she would love so much the married life she was discovering.

* * *

'Master?'

'What?' John yelled annoyed by everyone today. Yes, he had a temper, so what. The day had been long and his mind was very far from his desk. Or, maybe too close to his desk. Thinking sometimes about the words he spoke to Margaret. It shocked even him. Such words. He hoped she would not get frightened now.

'The masters'dinner tonight will be at...' His employee continued.

'What?' John repeated. 'The masters' dinner?'

He took his agenda to check. Indeed, tonight would been long as well. Listening to them instead of being in the arms of someone else. He sighed.

'Master.'

'What again?'

The hand looked at him and his shirt. It was dirty. He had to fix a machine in early afternoon and did not have time to change at all.

'I need to change I guess.'

John was feeling terrible. He was not even allowed to spend a proper night with Margaret. He came home moody and went straight to his chamber. 'I have to change. I meet the masters tonight.' He said passing by his mother on his way. She nodded. Of course, she knew.

He closed the door behind him and took off his cravat with frustration. He also needed to go to the bank before meeting the masters. A clean shirt was necessary for money.

He opened with a grand move the door of the bathroom. There she was. Naked, in the bathtub, the same view that he had before. But this time, he did not close the door right away. He stopped, mesmerized by her, and watched her hair almost touching the floor. The smoke in the bathroom was making it difficult to see but he clearly saw her knees out of the water.

She must have heard him, she turned and let out a small noise. She covered herself with her hands and turned back so he could only see her hair.

'I...John...I thought I was alone.'

He came next to the bathtub to face his wife. He rolled up his shirt to his elbows.

'Damn it.' He said.

Margaret opened her eyes bigger. Always surprised when he was speaking that way. His northern ways.

She was so beautiful, he almost could not contain himself.

'Are you afraid Margaret?' He asked in a rough voice that surprised her even more.

She tried to cover herself more but it was impossible.

'When you are swearing?' She asked, trying to be brave. His dark blue eyes fixed on her face. He nodded.

'It surprises me. Always. But, I feel it comes from your heart and express your emotions in such a raw nature that it can be sometimes... charming.'

'Charming.' He repeated.

He seemed perplexed. 'I never expected to be charming. In anyways.'

'Clearly, you never looked at you in the mirror.' She mocked.

He smirked.

'Neither did you, it appears so.'

She blushed.

He took the soap and put his hands in the water. 'John, what are you...' She exclaimed.

'Allow me. Please.'

She looked at him a while. She pondered if she was loving it or not. Him to tease her. Him to watch her naked. Him to want to touch her. She concluded that indeed, she was loving it, to be the centre of such attentions. And, especially when it was her husband itself, she felt desired. It seemed to be almost a need for him.

He began to wash her. Slowly, he passed the soap on her arms and her neck, then he went to her feet and each legs with tenderness. Then, he put the soap between her legs, with much softness and went up to her breasts. Once again for the day, they were pointing at him. He could not keep himself and bit one of them. Margaret gasped. John stopped immediately.

'I am sorry.' He said. 'I went too far.'

'No.' She answered shyly. 'No, you did not.'

He contracted his jaws and looked on his knees. Then, he put both his arms in the water and lifted her. All the water came upon him. His shirt was completely wet.

'John, your shirt and the masters... what are you doing?'

He took her on the bed and closed the door with the keys. He went back and took off his shirt. He climbed on the bed and closed the curtains of the canopy bed.

'Damn the masters.' He confessed to her ear and she blushed so hard, his heart melted a bit more.

He took her hand and put on his chest.

'Margaret, do you feel it ?'

He was really handsome and his heart was beating so fast. She kissed his chest.

'John.' She said. 'I want you.'

He startled.

'You, what?'

She blushed fiercely but never stopped watching him. 'I want you.' This time, it was him who blushed and Margaret could finally see the charm that was. To see someone lovingly embarrassed.

'John, the dinner and your meeting? I do not want to be in your way when you do business.'

'You are never in my way.' He answered kissing her neck.

'John, what will the servants say?'

'That I pay attention to my wife? I certainly do not see the issues here.' His mouth was close to her breast.

'John, I am embarrassed.' She finally confessed.

He stopped right away.

'It's just that I have been the talk of everyone for so long. I would like to protect what we have.'

He hugged her. 'I am sorry. I did not think through it. I would never put you in such position Margaret. I would go to the bank and the dinner. Do not wait for me and rest.'

He got up and dressed.

Margaret pondered a moment what happened between them. The dinner with Fanny and Mrs Thornton was longer than usual. Too many thoughts on her mind were fighting each other. _Should I let myself go_? She wondered. _Should I allow him to please me fully_?

After dinner and even once in bed, Margaret's thoughts were chaos. To the point that hours passed and when her husband came home, she was still fully awake.

It was late.

He took off his clothes without any lights, thinking she was asleep. When he went under the covers, he felt her move. 'Margaret, are you still up?'

John heard a small noise.

'Come'. He took her in his arms a bit more. 'Do you realize what you said to me earlier?' He whispered. 'I could not focus at all at the bank. The dinner was even more tragic. When you say such things, it makes my heart explodes.'

Maybe it was because around them was nothing but darkness. Maybe it allows some privacy and intimacy the daylight did not offer. Or, maybe it was because she wanted to be loved. But Margaret wanted to be daring.

'What did I say?' She whispered. 'I do not remember.'

She heard a small chuckle.

'Is it because I said I want you?' She repeated, teasing him.

'Oh Margaret...' He confessed. 'What are you doing?'

'Is it because I want you to take me?' She dared.

He sighed heavily. Giant hands caressed her back. With force, he opened her gown. 'Do you?' She felt him say with his northern accent. It was almost growling.

He put his finger between her legs. Her belly moved forward instinctively, closer to him. 'You are so beautiful to me Margaret. In every way. I love your mind. Feel free to behave and to express yourself. Please. Do never forbid yourself to say such words to me'

She was aroused. She closed her arms around him and put his back on the bed where he laid down completely. She took off his trousers and began to kiss him.

'No, Margaret... I did not mean...' He yelled, surprised.

She closed her mouth on his penis. He gasped and fell back on the bed. Her lips, her tongue, she made her ways around his most sensible part.

Before he almost released himself, he stood up and stopped her.

John caught his wife in his embrace and kissed her properly. 'You are a daring wife. I must have done something incredible in another life to have such a gift in this one. But, since you are giving so many rewards today, as a businessman, I need to repay you.'

Margaret gasped. He was teasing again. She would not let him play alone in this.

'As the wife of a tradesman, I must keep the counts in check. If I recall, a reward this morning and one now. And, you watched me take my bath in the most inappropriate way. You have a lot to pay me back sir.'

John smiled. 'Do not talk to me with such arousing words wife. Since the counts must be kept in order, I must repay you now. Lay down.'

Margaret executed and this time, he kissed her between her legs. Without stopping. He kissed and licked with so much tender and passion. Margaret could not control her body anymore neither her breath. Was it _screaming with pleasure_? At the same time, his hand was caressing her breast and the other hand was playing with every part of her body.

She was completely his. And, she came out. The sudden feeling of firework came like an orage in summer. It was brilliant.

'Margaret.' He asked. 'Will you allow me?'

Margaret was blury but she understood what he meant. She nodded and he entered her with softness. She gasped once he went higher than the last time but her body accepted him.

'Does it hurt?' He asked.

'Yes. But, less than the last time.'

'Do you want me to stop? I can at anytime. And, we can continue another time. Tell me, please.'

'I don't want to.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes. Just be gentle as you are and it would be okay.'

He kissed her and continued to move forward. It was a blessing for him. He put his arms around, trying his best to not crush Margaret. His skin was softer than she expected. When he came deeper in her, she naturally embraced his shoulders. Her nails entered his skin when the pain came. It was not as painful as the last time. With carefulness, John did all his best to move slowly. Her tight body hugged him fiercely. John was captivated by her looks, Margaret kept her eyes closed but her fiery hair was lighting their bed. Spread around her head as a crown. He kissed her cheeks and her neck while moving more and more. But, no once, he lost himself in pleasure. He tried to see if he was hurting her. She never once complained. Nevertheless, he continued to move very slowly while touching every part of her body. Talking to her ear some beautiful words. When she put her legs around his back very slowly, he came out almost immediately.

'Are you...hurt ?' He asked concerned.

She flushed. 'No, I am not.'

John smiled heartily to himself. He had another question in mind but he did not dare to say it. Did she love it? Sharing his bed?


	12. HIATUS I AM SO SORRY

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE.

I AM REALLY SORRY I DID NOT PUBLISH FOR SUCH A LONG TIME.

I CAUGHT THE CORONAVIRUS AND WAS ... FOR A MONTH.

ANYWAY, NOW ALL IS FINE. I HOPE IT IS FOR YOU TOO. I WISH YOU STRENGTH FOR THIS CHALLENGING TIME. TAKE CARE OF YOU.

I WILL PUBLISH AGAIN SOON. KEEP TUNE.

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

WITH MUCH LOVE.

SUN IN OUR HEARTS.


	13. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

_**Good Morning Everyone.**_

_**I hope you, and your loved ones, are safe.**_

_**I wish you a day full of little blessings.**_

_**Take care of yourself.**_

* * *

'You received a letter' His mother said.

John sat. He was already put back into reality. He took it and read it. His hand dropped the paper and his glare focused on an invisible matter.

'What is it John ?' Mrs Thornton asked.

'One of our clients goes bankrupt. He owes me a great deal of money. Many commands were due at the end of this month.'

'What will happen ?' The worries in her voice were not hidden.

'A lawyer wrote to me. As a creditor, I need to make my claim known legally. There is a legal process. Unfortunately, nothing will guarantee me that I will be paid. We have to wait for the judge to announce the official bankrupt and the list of creditors.'

'When will we know ?'

'According to this lawyer,' John showed the letter, 'in two weeks.'

'Lord.' Mrs Thornton went to take the arm of her son to bring him warmth. 'I thought you said to me a few weeks ago, that we will be fine this year.'

'I thought so. If everyone pays their debts. I need to work, mother. Harder. We do not know what will happen. Let's try to prevent anything bad.'

'Do not forget your health. John, please, be...'

'I will be fine.' He said kissing her forehead. 'Not a word to Fanny neither Margaret. Maybe, we worry for nothing.' Mrs Thornton did not answer but she was somehow happy to be the only one in the secrecy. Then, he left for the mill, leaving his mother behind.

* * *

Margaret woke up alone. As usual. It has been 3 days. 3 days without a living sign of her husband. On mornings, she was used to it but the evenings were cold. Every night, she was waiting for him and every night has been a disappointment. He was working, she knew it. But, his presence, or rather his lack of presence was heavy.

However, she knew he slept in the same bed than her. Because every morning, she was hot. As every morning since John began to share her bed. Their bed. She often wondered how a person can create so much warmth._ I guess he has a lot of... energy. _

With her leg, she put away blankets and breathed the northern air. She went to the bathroom and saw her face in the mirror. No, not her face, even worse, she saw her hair. A crazy horse. Every morning, it was becoming more, and more, savage. Soon, she will be too ashamed to face the maids. Shyness took her core. And, without delay, Margaret took the time to arrange her hair. After a while, it was all better. How could that hair be so wild? Did all her feelings gather upon her head? _(Even if, I have not seen him for almost a week now.) _Margaret wondered if it was her longing that was going into her hair.

When she went down for breakfast, Fanny was there.

'Come, join me for breakfast. We are expecting today the arrival of the dresses.' She exclaimed with a glorious smile.

Margaret looked at her with question marks all around her face.

'Please, Margaret...' She sighed with her brows up to the ceiling. 'Do not tell me you forgot about the dresses we ordered in London a few weeks ago.'

Of course, Margaret had. Many things happened. A dress was certainly not her main concern.

'I have to confess, I can not wait to wear it.' She smiled maliciously.

'Would you like to wear it for someone in particular ?' Margaret asked.

Fanny looked at her and smirked. The famous Thornton's smirk.

'Well, there there...' She clasped. 'I see you are asking the right question.'

'Then...' Margaret smiled.

'For myself, first of all. I am certain I will look incredible in this new dress. Second, maybe. I do not know.'

Fanny blushed. Margaret was surprised. She never saw Fanny blushed before. Not even once.

'Will you not tell me more ?' Margaret asked.

'Everyone must have secrets.' She answered playfully.

'Well, I agree. But, please know that I am here if ever you want to share your secret.'

Margaret put a warm hand on Fanny's. They stayed like that a while.

The morning passed. Margaret took some time out to go see the Higgins' family. They were doing as fine as possible. Mary and Nicholas were working. It was good. Margaret insisted so much for the children to not work at a mill, Nicholas finally gave up. With two payrolls, they could eat well. Margaret hides it but she felt proud of her husband: his salaries were the highest in town, the conditions better and he accepted to take Higgins to work despite the consequences.

John Thornton stood up from his desk, the day was fading. He went to the window and waited. A figure arrived and walked into the mansion. A beautiful and elegant figure. He knew now the agenda of his wife. It was simple: Princeton, walking around town, passing by her mother's grave, few errands, nothing extravagant, nothing secret. He missed her. But, he needed to work. To protect his family. To protect her. For her to not regret to have wed him.

So the days passed.

Margaret felt lonelier. Fanny was a source of joy. Surprisingly.

But, she missed Bessy deeply. She had no one to really talk to. She could certainly not talk about her marriage with Fanny even if she tried to give her comfort.

'Margaret, are you fine ?' Fanny asked with concerned eyes. 'My brother makes a poor husband.'

'Do not say that, please.' Margaret scolded her. 'I just want him to not exhaust himself.'

'Well, it is not in his character. He will work until death, Margaret.' Fanny said.

Margaret smiled sadly. 'I know that. It makes me proud in a way. He does it for us. Let's not talk about that. I am going to walk.'

The weather was nice. A breeze led Margaret to a hill above Milton. She took the time to admire the town and went back to the Church.

'Mama' She said in front of her mother's grave. Margaret looked around her. She always felt uncomfortable speaking to her mother.

'Are you cold Mama ?' Pain grabbed her heart. She thought about how her mother hated Milton. 'It feels warm today. Almost as in Helstone at the end of winter. You will love it, Mama. I'm sure of it.'

Margaret lifted her head. A ray of sun came on her face. It felt hot. She put her flowers down on the stone. 'I am happy Mama. I think. They are good to me. And...my husband... I care for him. A lot.'

Margaret also thought about her desires before her wedding. She wanted to be free. London Society was not for her. Rules and contradictions. To do, to go, to behave, to feel... free to be. Now that she was really reflecting on her condition since her wedding, it felt like she found what she wanted. She felt free. And it was thanks to John. The freedom she wanted so painfully, she got it now and she felt truly at home.


	14. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13**_

_**Hello everyone, **_

_**Thank you for the lovely messages. **_

_**I hope you are safe and well. **_

_**It's such a beautiful today as I post the chapter. I did some painting and it's drying fast under the sun. **_

_**Take care of yourself.**_

_***RATED M, do you remember?***_

* * *

The sun did not rise yet. John Thornton thought about the last couple of weeks, since his wedding actually. Even if, the last two weeks had been rough and he had not seen Margaret awake once, they still remain a soft cloud in an enraging tempest.

For two weeks, he came home undoubtedly late and went to work earlier than usual. No matter the hardships, each time he was coming home, in his bed, Margaret was there. Her presence by his side at nights was still better than the last years of loneliness and longing. Those years, when he spent nights wondering why he got rejected by her and why the arms of another man were better than his.

On mornings, before to get up, he took the habit to listen for five minutes the sleeping breath of Margaret. Stress and responsibilities seemed to fly away. A finger sometimes on her skin to reassure himself. He was always amazed by her softness. _So, this is it,_ he thought: _The touch of a wife_. Soft, caring, reassuring. Sometimes, on fire. Sometimes, shy.

His thoughts went to the nights they spent together. The ones before he received the letter of the lawyer and decided to overwork. He keeps those nights in his heart. When times are hard like now, he contemplates them. They are like a promise for a loving future: _Every night, when he went to bed, there she was, waiting for him. He approached her, taking off his clothes and made love to her. He had not once been ashamed of that. Slowly, with much patience, they were building an intimacy he never thought would happen. And, yet, sometimes, she seemed far away. Restraining herself. Hiding her true emotions. When it was like that, he was on the edge of insanity. Did she not know he wanted her all? Mind and soul. Body and heart. But, Margaret has always been true to him. And with that honesty, he was contented. Step by step, all restraints would fall. He was not known to be a patient man however he was a steady man. Once his mind aimed at something, he would not let it go. And John Thornton decided a long time ago that this marriage would not fail._

'A letter, John'. His mother said at breakfast. 'This is not going well, am I right ?'

John opened the letter. 'They postpone the trial for another two weeks at the demand of our debitor.' John sighed. He was tired. He thought this period would come to an end without anyone noticing. It was without thinking about his mother, that knew everything. He nodded. 'Indeed, this is not going well.'

'What do you plan to do ?'

'What exactly? Work even harder. What can I do more ?'. Bitterness in his throat. Any other help would be welcomed right now.

'Would it be enough ?' She worried.

John breathed soundly. 'I don't know what to answer mother. If not work, what then? I don't know any other solution.'

With those words, John Thornton went to work. Irritated.

* * *

'Milady.' Margaret heard Prissy enter the room. It was later than usual, quickly, Margaret chose her dress and hurried to go take her breakfast. Forever, she will be embarrassed to not be able to rise as early as her husband.

Alone to wake up.

Alone at breakfast, as well.

A note on her teacup was waiting for her.

_Margaret,_

_We received a letter from your cousin Edith. _

_She comes to visit us in a few days with Sholto._

_Make the dispositions you wish and arrange as you like the house for them. _

_There is one letter for you as well._

_Tonight, I d__ine with the masters,_

_ Caring,_

_ John._

Twice, her eyes caressed the words.

_Caring. _

Not loving.

Slowly, Margaret read the words a third time. The choice of words was always something she had been careful of. Indeed, she would not deny it. He was very caring with her. But, at nights, in their bedroom, under the sheets, far away from the world, what was it? When she was locked inside his arms, feeling him between her legs, his lips on every part of her skin... Was it only caring? When he was taking so much time to caress and touch, to put her at ease, to speak and share, to explain his days and asked about hers... Margaret was confused. She had no one to talk about that. _Time_, she thought. Maybe Time would give her answers.

She read Edith's letter. Indeed, as John wrote, she wanted to visit Margaret. It was unexpected for Edith to want that. But Margaret would feel less lonely, so she did not wonder much.

The day passed slowly. The weather was terrible. Margaret had no choice than to stay at home. She was moody. Tonight, she will be alone. Again. She closed the book she was reading and went upstairs, that is when she heard the servants speak :

'The mistress does not seem good those days.' One said.

'The master comes home late. They do not see each other a lot. '

'They do not see each other at all, that's what I believe.'

'The master seems also darker.' Another added.

'Told you. They did not see each other for days.'

They giggled.

'One should not want so much her husband at night. It is no good.'

'But the master is softer than before.'

'Maybe a little good so.'

Margaret went up. When the servants heard her steps, the corridor went quiet. She entered her bedroom and Prissy was waiting for her. _It's been days_. She thought while Prissy was combing her hair. They did not see each other for more than two weeks now. Was it even possible? At nights, Margaret was already asleep when he was coming to bed and on mornings, he already left. She tried so much to stay awake late than she even wondered if he was coming to bed at all sometimes. Once she was ready for bed, Prissy left her and Margaret sat close to the window to read for a while. It was impossible. Her longing was deeper than the words she was reading. For the first time for days, she did not try to wait for John. She knew he would come home late. And Margaret was feeling as bad as the weather of the day.

The servants were right. She was ashamed to hear it. But, indeed, he was all she wanted now. She longed for him and her days seemed dull without him. Margaret imagined him at his desk, his sleeves up on his elbows, his hand in his hair. She could almost hear the sound of his pen and his sigh. She was on the edge of sleep when she heard the door. At first, she thought it was outside.

Then, his smell entered the room. She knew she was not dreaming. Her heart skipped a beat.

_John. _

_John! _

John Thornton came home late. The diner with the other masters had been tiresome. Nothing really new came out of it. But it was a social necessity to keep and to maintain.

Thinking she was asleep, he did as little noise as possible. He took off his clothes and went to the bathroom to wash quietly. It felt good, the water on his skin and the smell of soap. He put his nightclothes. He was exhausted.

When he slid under the blankets, Margaret did not dare to move and continued to pretend to sleep. Her senses were on the alert. Every breath from him, every move, she felt everything with intensity. She did not know how to behave. Suddenly, she felt very shy. As if they were sharing a bed for the first time.

But, when she felt his hand on her shoulder and a small kiss on her forehead, her longing became a fire.

'John...' She whispered without realising his name escaped her mouth.

He startled.

'Margaret, are you not asleep?' His deep voice said. Margaret realized how much she missed this voice. Goosebumps and butterflies travelled on her body. 'I am sorry I woke you up. Go back to sleep.'

She shivered. Was he insane? Ten days without him was almost unbearable. Two weeks... Now that she heard his voice, now that her body remembered the nights they shared, she became hot. Her cheeks burnt.

_No. _She thought.

Therefore, with a pounding heart and her natural shyness, she grabbed his hand and put it on her stomach.

'Marg...' He was astonished.

He waited a small moment then he came closer to her, embracing her back to his chest. His hand on her stomach. She felt his breath in her ear. She put her hands on his. Did he not understand at all what she wanted? She got infuriated.

When he tried to let her go, for her to be able to sleep, she caught his wrist.

'Margaret, I am sorry, I don't understand, are you... unwell ?' He said softly.

She blushed. Thank goodness, it was dark. Ill. Indeed, she must be completely ill to behave that way.

Such indecency.

Right now, did she care?

No.

'John... please.'

There, he got it. It took him a while. He almost blamed himself to not have understood sooner.

Her voice pleading him. It aroused him as he never thought it would be possible to want something that much.

He came closer to her. His breath became quicker and hotter. His hand caught the sides of her waist. His lips caressed her ear. His nose inside her hair, smelling her deeply. It was such a long time since he held her. He was fighting against himself every night to not make love to her. He locked her inside his arms with such strength that she gasped.

'Margaret...I know it's late.' He whispered in her ear. 'But, will you have me ?'

Few seconds passed. Quietly, very shyly, Margaret nodded and moved slightly her legs towards him. Red came to his cheeks, hot blood rushed through his veins. His finger caressed her neck and came back on her belly. One of his hand grabbed her chest through the fabric. His lips on her neck, sucking her skin. So much time without intimacy, it felt strangely new, and even more strangely, warm. Like coming back home after holidays abroad. The other hand came down between her legs. Wet. She was all wet. It was his turn to gasp. Without delay but with much tenderness he entered her slowly. So soft and hot, so tight. He moved. Slowly out and slowly in. Taking time to caress and to share.

'I am sorry Margaret.' He said. 'For work and for being absent.'

Her breast was so soft. Pointing, he seized it. Their height difference was perfect, he was not blocked by her back. He moved a hand on her waist and caressed her butt. He felt her skin having goosebumps. Her breath was sensual. His hand went back between her legs, she gasped. A small noise escaped her mouth. John stopped moving. Either he hurt her, either... Slowly, he moved again. She was so wet. Her hand was strongly grabbing the sheets.

'Margaret?' He asked.

Margaret was lost into it. The servants were right. She loved it too much. Being in the arms of her husband. She felt protected. That was the first time he was making love to her in this position. This was overwhelming. New and beautiful.

'Margaret?'

She turned her face to his. Gathering her senses.

'Pardon me?' She said politely.

John was hesitating. It was new for him to hesitate.

'I would like to know...' He tried.

'Yes?' She answered softly. Encouraging.

'Do I do...good?' His deep voice in her ear. As the words were pronounced, his belly squeezed.

She understood what he meant. Thank god for the darkness, she thought once again.

'Yes.' She whispered shyly. 'I think so.'

A moment passed, he did not move. But, he kept her strongly between his arms.

Margaret felt like he was pondering on something to say.

'I would...' He stopped. No, he could not ask that.

Margaret felt it. She felt strong to be the only one with whom he was that considerate. She felt unique.

'Please, John, say what you would like to say.' She said with softness.

He breathed heavily.

'I'd like to hear it.' He finally said with a voice full of cravings.

Margaret's innocence never considered once that her husband could be that demanding to satisfy her. He was willing to know if he was pleasing her.

It was difficult for Margaret because of her education, her shyness and her reserve.

But, what was happening between them was too precious. She could not let herself disappoint him. Her honesty was her best weapon.

'Hum...How...How do I do that?'

Her answer. He loved it way too much. 'Say it simply.'

'I... I do. I don't dare. I don't know how to express myself. All is so new. But, I do.'

'Repeat it.' He ordered softly and moved back into her with tenderness.

Margaret's breast went up and down.

'I love when we are together at nights.' She said. 'In this canopy bed.'

'In our bed.' He whispered while moving deeper.

She gasped. Devotion. Desire. John was making love to Margaret as she was a treasure. He cherished her.

'In our bed.' She repeated.

Maybe it was the longing, maybe it was the darkness, maybe it was the atmosphere, or maybe it was the slowness with which John was making love to her, but her desire grew stronger. She felt dizzy and stunned in a beautiful way.

'I.. I feel intoxicated.' She continued. 'I feel like I need it, to be sane again.'

Her words stroke him.

'I do too. Each time I lay with you, it feels as if I got drunk with the most wonderful drinks.'

His northern accent. All of him was seductive.

'Can you try something?' He said.

'Tell me.'

John did not know how to say it without shocking her.

'I don't want you to take it in the wrong way. But, in our room, with me, you can be or behave the way you want...' He began a bit shy. 'If you want to not lay with me, it is alright. If you want to rest, it is alright too. If you want to do anything, please do. If you want to express what you feel in a certain way, I would never be shocked. You will never be improper in my eyes. I... Do you understand ?'

Margaret nodded. That freedom was here too, she thought. That freedom she wanted so much. Surprisingly, the one she got since she was in Milton as Mrs Thornton. She has that freedom in their bed too. And more than anything, he wanted it. He wanted her bravery in their bed. In their sex life.

Now, she got it. He needed to hear her needs. To hear when she was happy or not happy. He wanted and needed to hear when their lovemaking pleased her.

'John, I understand.' She whispered.

'You do ?' He asked surprised.

'Thank you so much for what you say and the freedom you give me. I never thought I could be happy. But I am. So much. And I feel free.'

John listened. It was important to him to hear that.

'And I love how you...'

'Please' He begged.

'I love how you take care of me. I love how you... seduce me.'

He waited for a moment.

'And how do I do that ?' She felt him smirked playfully.

'When you speak to me.' She whispered. 'And...when you touch.'

He put a hand on her breast.

'Yes'.

'And here?' He kissed her neck.

She nodded.

'And there?' He put his hand between her legs. She gasped. 'You don't?'

'I do.' She smiled.

'Please, say it again, for me. I need it.'

'Touch me please.' She asked.

He did.

A noise came again from Margaret. This time, she did not try to hide it.

'Margaret, again, please.' He asked aroused.

She did. Each time he moved and he touched. Each time fireworks were felt, she let her voice out.

John thought it was better than in his dreams, it was beautiful.


End file.
